no more, please!

There seems to be a wave of movement coming over many congregations across the nation, and it’s no new problem to the church, yet “for such a time as this”, DIVISION is cutting the church at our legs, and leaving us sucking up dust from the ground.  And while we lay lifeless on the ground, all we can think about is how dirty we are, and why we should clean up before just getting up and continuing to RUN in this race. DISCLAIMER: yes, I will say some things about my own church, yet my purpose is simply to reveal changes that need to be made to many congregations, but should be applied to the universal church.

Over the past 3-4 months, and especially since my return from Thailand, I’ve found myself making a common mistake as a Christian, which is looking too much at my individual self, and not seeing enough of the bigger picture.

This is a call to the universal church.  Some may call this prophecy, but whatever it is, there is a severe and strong warning to the church: WE MUST UNITE.  WE MUST REACH THE LOST, BROKEN, and DYING in our world around us.

Not that any of this is new news, we’ve heard this for years and years, yet there has been a striking turn for many churches in the past year.  During these economic times of difficulty, there should be unity and re-casting of vision for the church, yet Satan knows this is a prime time to steal, kill and destroy.  Over and over again, I’ve heard repeatedly that the last year has been a very difficult for ministry.  Either this means things will get better, or it means that God is preparing his church, his bride, for war, for battles, for even GREATER DIFFICULTIES to come.

How is it that we’ve become consumers and so individualistic?  Our society screams these things at us, so it’s only natural that we would expect all these same requests from God, right?

Three years ago, I read “The Present Future” by Reggie McNeal, and I encourage any church leaders to read this book.  I still deeply agree with most of what this author and Christian leader says about the church today.  We are bound and locked into four walls, and yet we think people who are not Christians will bust through our doors looking for God.  REALITY CHECK: people who are “searching” or “seekers”, in this post-modern society will NOT look for these answers in God or church.  They’ll find it in other types of spirituality, or simply within themselves.  Oprah’s “religion” is a perfect example of this CULTIC attitude.

Broken down to tears last night, I realized that the issues within my own church body are much greater than what so many attendees are feeling toward the letting go of/agreement that our Pastor needed to move on.  The issue is not that “we don’t have a Pastor and we need one desperately”, it’s much greater.  The issue is that Satan, the DECIEVER, is causing us to focus more on our own problems rather than realizing that we are in a huge battle!!! For our church specifically, there are nearby apartment complexes filled with low-income families that need to see and EXPERIENCE the LOVE of JESUS CHRIST!!!

The purpose of the church is much like the role of the synagogue was in Biblical times, more specifically the intertestamental period (also known as the 400 years of silence between the Old and New Testaments in the Bible).  Everyone went weekly to the Temple to worship, make sacrifices, and give their tithing, but within Jerusalem and other cities, smaller communities of Jews used synagogues to worship more regularly, collect for the needs of their own smaller communities, and minister on a more individual basis.

The universal church needs to UNITE in our call to reach the lost and unsaved.  In Matthew 28, Jesus commissioned everyone, all Christians, to preach the gospel and spread his love to the ends of the earth.  Yet, he always prayed for unity for all the believers also.

I’m not saying that I’m a perfect example of all these things, but there needs to be a significant change in our mindset as Christians.  We don’t want to put ourselves in a bubble so that we are untouched by the world, yet we know we are not to conform to the patterns of the world, but rather be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12).  Our call is to minister to those who NEED love, who NEED grace, who just need to see the face of Christ.

I don’t intent to draw a pointing finger and my specific church in this blog, but seriously, why are we even here on earth still?  Obviously God calls all his people to himself, and if we are alive and breathing, we are to be SERVING.

Sorry, on my soap box, I’ll get down now.  But let us LOVE unconditionally as Christ loves, and let’s forget our own worries, wants, and hurts, and let’s SERVE our LIVING God.  Let us not forget that we have God’s Spirit- the HOLY SPIRIT in our hearts.  Let’s turn back to him.  Let’s remember that we are in a serious battle, a serious war, and engaging in a war for souls…. That means an eternity in heaven or hell is at stake.

I recently spent a great deal of time pouring over what the Kingdom of God is, and what that looks like on earth.  The truth is that this raging war, and battle is about the coming of the Kingdom of God.  Yes, it will come, but part of our role is to battle and war in the coming of the Kingdom of God.  Satan wants to break the church, the bride of Christ so that we are ineffective, and worthless.  He wants to trip us up so that we are no longer the hands and feet of Jesus Christ, he wants to DESTROY us.  Yet, we already know we have victory in Jesus Christ, and in the end, WE WIN.  SO LET’S KEEP FIGHTING!

it’s all over now.

It’s been a busy couple months between trips up and down the West Coast to showers, parties, weddings, and such, not to mention my classes!  But now things should calm down for awhile.. until Sarah’s wedding in August!

Anyway, I’m officially 6 units down with 30(+) to go for my Master’s degree, but it feels good.  It’s good to know that I can survive doing everything online and it’s doable with everything else I have going on in my life.  I’ll also soon post my paper, as soon as I get a little more time on my hands.

The wedding by the way was BEAUTIFUL!  Emily is a long time friend of mine, since we were 10 years old!  We’ve had our share of awkward times during middle-school, and continued to stay in touch through our college and post-college years.  It was a joy to be apart of her special day.  Congrats to them both!

There was also significance on Saturday because it was the first time since 2006 I’ve been in the States for the 4th of July.  Nothing spectacular of course, I was driving and watching the fireworks from the freeway, but still, I got to celebrate the 4th in the States instead of being overseas!

Anyway, looking forward to some lake time this week, as well as the typical church office stuff for work.  Ah, summer in the States, it’s quite nice!

Once again, maybe a boring blog, but there’s a quick update.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 (thanks Ja!)

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miles and miles

Upon my arrival back to the States on April 2, I have traveled, and will continue to travel a great many miles!  I know I’ve spoken a little about my travels, but in case you were interested, here’s a bit of how things have gone:

Medford-Redding-Medford for Easter (300 miles)
not to mention our trip from Redding to Sacramento for the Hillsong United Concert (294 miles round trip)

Then there was the trip up to Salem to take Andrea college visiting (227) and back (227)

Medford-Redding-Visalia-Seal Beach-Mission Viejo… (720 miles) then back home (720 miles)

Then a wedding in near-by Klamath Falls (152 miles round trip)

I took a rest from driving for a while…. but right now, I’m in Gold Beach, Oregon and will return back to Medford tomorrow
(324 miles)

Then next weekend I’ll drive up to Portland and back for a bridal shower (546 total)

On the 21st, after my bridal shower I will drive to Sacramento (308 miles) to fly to Denver (888), then back (888) then driving back to Medford (308).

THEN, I will drive back up to Portland for Emily’s wedding (546 total)…..

AND the grand total is:::::::::: 6,451 miles!!!!!  WOW!

WOW, I feel exhausted just  figuring how how many miles I had actually traveled, and will travel!  ANYWAY, I’m in no way complaining about the miles traveled.  I’ve gotten to spend precious time that I cannot get back with people that I love to be with and live life with.  The longer I live, the more I realize how much friendship must be pursued and cultivated in order to continue and last.  Sure, it takes effort, it takes blood, sweat, and sometimes tears, but friends are always worth the effort.  ALWAYS.  Wow, this blog turned into a sentimental, feel-good blog about my friends, and I didn’t even intend it!

words fail

When words fail, I just don’t speak.  Words fail me a lot lately.  

I’ve felt like I’ve been in a daze over the past few weeks, and the thing is that I knew I would feel this way.  I hate feeling like I have no purpose and that I’m wandering.

Each morning, I’ve woken up in a various couch, bed, and location in beautiful Southern California.  With no agenda almost each day, I  have felt like I’ve been wallowing in self-pity, which is not the right approach to things.  People getting married, life happening all around, people in love, people enjoying jobs, people living.  

I feel like I’ve been waiting for something big to happen and to point me in the right direction.  I’m not sure that “big” thing was what I was expecting, but I’m feeling a pull to a place I never wanted to go back to.  I won’t go into details, because everything is really up in the air, and nothing is for sure, but I need to follow my heart on this… even if I don’t understand it.

Thank you those for your thoughts and prayers, I can’t express enough what they mean.  I’m grateful, and blessed beyond measure.

More to come.

 

PS: On Monday I’m starting two (2) courses for my Seminary degree!  I know I haven’t really explained that to many people, but my heart is joyful about it, and I’m really looking forward to this new venture!

it’s about time

… for me to blog again, and break the silence.

Silence is good, but just because my blog has been silent, doesn’t mean that my thoughts have been.

Where do I begin?  I’m not sure… adjustment back to the States after being away for nearly a year isn’t the easiest thing.  I really thought I was doing quite well; I have been back for 2 weeks and 2, almost 3 days now, and it wasn’t until last night that I finally admitted to myself that I was in reverse-culture shock.  I thought everything was going really great. I had been seeing people and catching up, but all the while, I haven’t thought about Thailand much at all.  Though I spent the last year overseas, I spent that entire year wondering and thinking about what it was going to be like once I came back.  Now that I’m back, I just can’t help but think “what’s next?”, and it’s also the question on everyone else’s mind who talks to me, which quite honestly is about the worst question you could ask someone after they come back from being overseas- in my opinion!

So here I am, back in the States.  I’m unemployed, trying to figure out life, wondering what my next goal is, and feeling pretty lost.  It’s like life is happening all around me, but I’m stuck and can’t move.  Like one of those awful dreams you have when something terrible is sneaking up behind you, only you’re frozen and can’t seem to move one muscle.  

My state of confusion is not outside of God’s care, concern, or knowledge, and I need to remind myself of that.  I was comforted the other night in reading Ephesians 1, when it says that not only has God saved us through Christ with his KINDNESS, and GRACE, but he’s also given us WISDOM and UNDERSTANDING.

So I don’t really know what else to say.  It’s 4:10AM, and I have a lot on my mind, mostly things that I’m not talking about right now, if you couldn’t tell.  Pray for me friends, if you think of me.  I’m trying to rest in the knowledge that I’m safe in the arms of Christ, and I’m right where he wants me, but that doesn’t make this valley any easier.

leavin’ on a jet plane

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A week from today, I will be finishing my packing, saying last good-byes, and getting ready to go to the airport.  It’s so weird, honestly, and in many ways it still seems really far away, just because there is so much to do between now and then.

I’m filled with so many emotions, and my heart is pulled and torn so many ways.  I knew this day would come, but it doesn’t make it any easier, and it doe

sn’t make the future seem any clearer, it just gets scarier and makes me more afraid, to be honest.  

I’m also confronted with questions about God, his character, and who he is.  I know that he is so good, and scripturally we know he never will leave us, but I question his involvement in our lives, free will, and how much control he really has in our lives.  I think these are healthy questions to ask, and frankly I don’t have answers for them.  I believe that there are a number of paths to choose for my life at this point, but I do want his best, and I suppose in faith I need to trust in the leading of His spirit inside my heart, and trust his voice.  I knew that peace and his voice when it was time for me to come to Thailand, so I need to trust for that same peace when looking at the future.

Easier said than done.

 

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23

I’ve been twenty-three, well, for almost a year now, and I was thinking ahead to being twenty-four, and a song that I hope to use for a future blog, but I think it’s time for a blog on being twenty-three, since it won’t be for much longer.  One of my all time favorite Jimmy Eat World songs is called “23”, and I wanted to share the lyrics, but not until the end.

A year ago, around my birthday, as when I first found the job here in Thailand at GES, and so my memories of last year’s birthday dinner were filled with thoughts of Thailand, and wondering if I’d actually be going.  Twenty-three seemed old, but not that old, twenty-four on the other hand, is OLD.  I’ve been saying for the past year that I’ll cry when that day comes, and I still think that will happen.

It’s been a year of new beginnings, growth, and lots of change.  Life after college was all I thought about during my Senior year at Simpson, but as I quickly found out, and have been discovering, it really isn’t easy.  I learned in the time I turned 23 that I should simply take life one step, one day, one moment, and one year at a time.  I can’t expect all the details of my hopes and dreams to happen so fast, many of those hopes and dreams come through experiences and time.

Anyway, there’s more I could say, but the lyrics of this song say a lot.  If you haven’t ever listened to the song, DO IT!  It’s one of the most beautifully crafted songs I’ve ever listened to, as many Jimmy songs are.  Genius.  It’s about living life to the fullest, living without regret,dreaming dreams and growing older…

 

23- Jimmy Eat World

I felt for sure last night
That once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
I’m still driving away
And I’m sorry every day
I won’t always love these selfish things
I won’t always live…
Not stopping…

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you

You’ll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I’m here I’m now I’m ready
Holding on tight
Don’t give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems
I’ll be 23
I won’t always love what I’ll never have
I won’t always live in my regrets