A week from today, I will be finishing my packing, saying last good-byes, and getting ready to go to the airport. It’s so weird, honestly, and in many ways it still seems really far away, just because there is so much to do between now and then.
I’m filled with so many emotions, and my heart is pulled and torn so many ways. I knew this day would come, but it doesn’t make it any easier, and it doe
sn’t make the future seem any clearer, it just gets scarier and makes me more afraid, to be honest.
I’m also confronted with questions about God, his character, and who he is. I know that he is so good, and scripturally we know he never will leave us, but I question his involvement in our lives, free will, and how much control he really has in our lives. I think these are healthy questions to ask, and frankly I don’t have answers for them. I believe that there are a number of paths to choose for my life at this point, but I do want his best, and I suppose in faith I need to trust in the leading of His spirit inside my heart, and trust his voice. I knew that peace and his voice when it was time for me to come to Thailand, so I need to trust for that same peace when looking at the future.
Easier said than done.