Those words still echo through my mind, spoken by a professor friend of mine.
I walked (maybe even skipped) across the big stage to receive my degree from Dallas Seminary in May but in that moment, I couldn’t help but feel like I wasn’t done yet. There was more left to know and learn.
I know enough to be dangerous, but I know I need more.
Which is why I’m up blogging at 2:49am instead of sleeping.
What do you want to do with that degree?
Is this [job] what you were hoping to do as a career?
How long are you planning to stay?
The questions we ask people about life, whether it be careers, marriage, children, hobbies, etc… often are the wrong questions to ask. During day one of orientation for my Master’s degree at Dallas Theological Seminary I was asked numerous times, “What degree program are you in?” closely followed by the question, “Oh, great, so what do you hope to do with that?” Or, “What kind of ministry are you planning to serve in after you finish?”
So many of our questions are leading questions. We intend to lead people to a specific type of answer. An answer that belongs in a neatly organized box. And not only that, but these questions do not focus on the heart of who the person we are conversing with, rather, we are forcing people to answer in a particular way so that we can categorize them.
Since my move here to Seoul, I have been asked too many times, “Oh, so is this job what you were wanting to do when you attended seminary?”
Um, no. It isn’t. Wasn’t.
I had no clue I would be here.
I have no clue how long I will be here.
I have no clue where I will go next.
God only knows.
And that’s the thing about all our grand plans: they aren’t ours. We can plan all day until our faces are blue and our fingers are bleeding with callouses: we cannot know the future.
Proverbs rightly reminds us: “A person plans his course, but the Lord directs his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9, NET)
Hello new and old readers!
I just wanted to take a moment and update everyone on summer, and my upcoming trip to Nicaragua.
School. Summer is well underway here in Dallas, with the temperatures to prove it! I’ve been done with the Spring semester for nearly three weeks, but the summer session began as soon as the spring semester ended! I’m taking just one class over the summer, The Gospels, online and so far I’ve been quite busy with it! My work schedule has stayed the same so far, with our summer session of lessons beginning in two weeks.
Nicaragua. Though my plane ticket has not been purchased yet, I plan to leave Friday, June 28 for Nicaragua, and to return July 6 or 7. There are a few details to be ironed out still, and I’m in need of $600-700 more to be completely funded for the trip. If you have more questions about my mission trip, please visit the Nicaragua tab here on my blog, and feel free to contact me by email if you have further questions, or would like to help support me financially to help with Vacation Bible School at El Padul in Nicaragua!
THANK YOU. Thank you to everyone who has prayed for me for this trip to Nicaragua, and just through the past year as I’ve jumped into the deep end of my seminary studies. God is so good, and I’m so grateful. Thank you to everyone who has given financially so far, enabling me to go once again back to Nicaragua. Words cannot say enough.
When words fail, I just don’t speak. Words fail me a lot lately.
I’ve felt like I’ve been in a daze over the past few weeks, and the thing is that I knew I would feel this way. I hate feeling like I have no purpose and that I’m wandering.
Each morning, I’ve woken up in a various couch, bed, and location in beautiful Southern California. With no agenda almost each day, I have felt like I’ve been wallowing in self-pity, which is not the right approach to things. People getting married, life happening all around, people in love, people enjoying jobs, people living.
I feel like I’ve been waiting for something big to happen and to point me in the right direction. I’m not sure that “big” thing was what I was expecting, but I’m feeling a pull to a place I never wanted to go back to. I won’t go into details, because everything is really up in the air, and nothing is for sure, but I need to follow my heart on this… even if I don’t understand it.
Thank you those for your thoughts and prayers, I can’t express enough what they mean. I’m grateful, and blessed beyond measure.
More to come.
PS: On Monday I’m starting two (2) courses for my Seminary degree! I know I haven’t really explained that to many people, but my heart is joyful about it, and I’m really looking forward to this new venture!