To those who wait,
I am one of you. I am you. Longing, waiting hope and fear. I am one who waits.
I live my life in quiet, or I strive to. Though in my quiet, here is waiting, anticipation and… much restlessness.
While I wait, I wrestle. Part of the waiting is a stream of doing too. Waiting for me is not idle. It is active.
What am I waiting for? Many things. For my eyes to one day behold what I hope for, faith becoming sight. For perfection. For joy on this earth. For promises to become realities. Many things.
In my restlessness, two years ago I sold most of my earthly possessions, and packed my tiny two-door car with whatever would fit and moved to Dallas, Texas to attend Seminary. My life will never be the same since that day. I can’t explain it, but my two years here have been like a gentle breeze, making its way through the empty spaces of my heart… awaking many things in me by the means of the Holy Spirit.
This past week was one of those gentle breezes, only it was more like a powerful wind, studying grace and salvation in a one week intensive course.
There are many people to whom I have much gratitude to give, and Dr. Glenn Kreider is one of those people. Thank you Dr. Kreider for your sacrifice of this past week, and your life given to teaching students at Dallas Theological Seminary.
I cannot sum up this week in a simple blog post, or even many blog posts. It is just not possible. But as I sort out these things and work out my own salvation, some of those “working outs” may appear here on my blog, to those who read, and to those who wait (for the posts.. sorry! I’m slow..)
To those who wait, and to myself, as one who waits: do not stop waiting. Live in the tension of that which is now, and the hope of that which is promised. It has to be worth it, because there really isn’t much else to hold on to as I look around at this ever changing world we live in.
There are many things in life I am not sure about in life, but I am sure that I am desperate for God’s grace. And I am also sure that I know I’ve never deserved that Grace, and I never will.