Let’s be honest here. Is that okay? Well, I am making it okay, especially because this is MY blog after all.
I don’t miss “home” per se, but there are many things, comfort things, that I miss about the United States of America. The things that are “normal” here in Thailand aren’t really “normal” to me, and that makes sense. I didn’t grow up here, and I’m certainly not completely understanding of all those things after being here only 3 months.
- I miss my car, and being able to go anywhere anytime I want.
- I miss huge salads from Red Robin.
- I miss being able to speak in English when I go somewhere and have people understand me.
- I miss not feeling like I stick out wherever I go.
- I miss not sweating all the time, everywhere you go.
- I miss my hair being normal.
- I miss Sarah being around to cut my hair.
- I miss being in the same time zone as everyone.
I’m sure I could extend this list longer. Some things have begun to ware on me, but I know those things will pass. Don’t get me wrong, I love being here in Thailand, but sometimes I just wish I could know what the future holds. I could see myself staying here for longer than just one year, but then again I could see myself coming back to the States.
I’m not the best at trusting, and for that I must confess that I have depended too much upon myself. I know when I begin feeling overwhelmed that at that very moment I need to stop, and begin to pray. For I know at that moment I’m relying on myself and my own strength.
The hardest is not knowing. For a while I did so well at not worrying about the future and taking life one moment at a time, but right now I’m worrying, and asking many questions that I should leave up to the LORD.
Pray for me. Pray for all of us teachers. Thailand is a place where it is easy to get discouraged, and I myself have been dealing with that lately.
God is good, and God is so faithful. I know this to be true. That doesn’t stop me from wanting to bawl my eyes out right now…. I’m not even sure why.
Thanks for listening friends, again, please pray for us. Everyday we give and give to students who do not know the LORD, and that alone can be quite taxing, and can seem very energy-consuming.
This song has been a blessing to me, pray these words of truth wherever you are today.
“Desert Song” by Hillsong
Verse:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is the God who provides
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames
Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
Verse:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it’s way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand
Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
End:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be empited again
The seed I’ve recieved I will sow
“Does Sorrow lay his hand upon your shoulder,
and walk with you in silence on life’s way,
While Joy your bright companion once, grown colder,
Becomes to you more distant day by day?
Run not from the companionship of Sorrow,
He is the messenger of God to thee;
And you will thank Him in His great tomorrow —
For what you do not know now, you then will see;
He is God’s angel, clothed in veils of night,
With whom “we walk by faith” and “not by sight”.”
2 Corinthians 5:7 KJV
It’s crazy. It’s August. Summer is slipping by, but for some reason I’m okay with it, I’m looking forward to the cooler Fall days, and all that comes with that beautiful season. Weather, and seasons seem to be able to transport you into places you long forgot, that happened to me today. I was walking from one place to another at work, and noticed that the sky had begun to cloud up, which has happened a few times this summer, but never really started to rain. Today was different, I could feel that it was going to rain, which actually is pretty unusual for us here, we don’t have Thunderstorms or ran much in the summer. Strangely, I was taken immediately back to Thailand, naturally of course. I just wanted to stand outside. Soak it in. Everyone always asks me, Do you think you’ll ever go back?, in fact I was just asked that again last night. My answer is the same… I don’t know, maybe someday.
somehow beautiful 