the blinker

the blinker loudly sounds, filling the silence
drip, drop, drip, drop
again the rains have come
again i am taken back

taken back to a place i’ve known
a place i’ve long been
in the silence, a familiar sound rings
reflection, honesty, hope, alone

the days grow colder, along with my heart
the daylight comes and goes so quickly
wishing to be warm again
wishing to see the sun again

wanting to love during the season of transition
hoping to open my heart soon
to be filled with love during the orange
then during the red and green and blue season
maybe forever

long lost hope during the time
smiles, hugs, warmth, fire, family, love
where is my hope?
where is my chance to love?

not yet, not now, not yet, not now
seems like the answer has always been
alone, Alone, ALone, ALOne, ALONe, ALONE
the silence screams

yet a morsel of hope remains
it just won’t seem to leave
maybe this year
maybe this fall
maybe this time
my thoughts race

then the loud silence is filled
with a blinker
now the car is turning
now it is silent again

maybe.

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life seems to keep going

It’s crazy.  It’s August.  Summer is slipping by, but for some reason I’m okay with it, I’m looking forward to the cooler Fall days, and all that comes with that beautiful season.  Weather, and seasons seem to be able to transport you into places you long forgot, that happened to me today.  I was walking from one place to another at work, and noticed that the sky had begun to cloud up, which has happened a few times this summer, but never really started to rain.  Today was different, I could feel that it was going to rain, which actually is pretty unusual for us here, we don’t have Thunderstorms or ran much in the summer.  Strangely, I was taken immediately back to Thailand, naturally of course.  I just wanted to stand outside.  Soak it in.  Everyone always asks me, Do you think you’ll ever go back?, in fact I was just asked that again last night.  My answer is the same… I don’t know, maybe someday.

I miss it.  I miss all of you, my friends who maybe or maybe not still read my blog.  It doesn’t seem like that long ago we all arrived, met, and began our year-long adventure together, but it has been 2 years since that year began.  Crazy.  Some of you are still there, going on year number 3, 4….or longer.

The thing is this: life just continues moving on.  Never stopping so we can catch a breath.  It’s like a never ending marathon run… (since everything these days seems to relate back to running).

It’s still raining here.  I’m hoping the clouds will clear soon so I can go on my 4-miler today.  It might not.  I might be running in the rain.  Fun.

I was pointed to a few verses by several people day… just wanted to pass them along.  Psalm 3:3-4 “But you, O LORD are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.  I cried aloud to the LORD, and he answered me from his holy hill.” Psalm 34:10b “but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing”.

Last, but the best.. listen to this song.  Amazing.  I’ve been listening to it everyday, all day for the past few days.  For those who are thirsty, drink.

And I am desperate for Your touch
a glimpse of heaven through the glory of Your son
In a moment You can turn a life around
forever to be found in You

And I’m reaching out to find
there’s nothing greater then the love that holds my life
Your grace and mercy save me by Your blood
and swept away my shame away O Lord


Your love is like a fire, that burns for all to see
My only desire to worship at your feet
So let this fire consume my life
Let Your love take me deeper
draw me closer to where You are
’cause all I want is more of You
When you call I will follow
At the cross I surrender all
Jesus I belong to You

And I am surrendered to Your love
forever humbled by the message of the cross
I stand in abandoned in Your presence and embrace
I never be the same O God

Grace and peace to you.