… for me to blog again, and break the silence.
Silence is good, but just because my blog has been silent, doesn’t mean that my thoughts have been.
Where do I begin? I’m not sure… adjustment back to the States after being away for nearly a year isn’t the easiest thing. I really thought I was doing quite well; I have been back for 2 weeks and 2, almost 3 days now, and it wasn’t until last night that I finally admitted to myself that I was in reverse-culture shock. I thought everything was going really great. I had been seeing people and catching up, but all the while, I haven’t thought about Thailand much at all. Though I spent the last year overseas, I spent that entire year wondering and thinking about what it was going to be like once I came back. Now that I’m back, I just can’t help but think “what’s next?”, and it’s also the question on everyone else’s mind who talks to me, which quite honestly is about the worst question you could ask someone after they come back from being overseas- in my opinion!
So here I am, back in the States. I’m unemployed, trying to figure out life, wondering what my next goal is, and feeling pretty lost. It’s like life is happening all around me, but I’m stuck and can’t move. Like one of those awful dreams you have when something terrible is sneaking up behind you, only you’re frozen and can’t seem to move one muscle.
My state of confusion is not outside of God’s care, concern, or knowledge, and I need to remind myself of that. I was comforted the other night in reading Ephesians 1, when it says that not only has God saved us through Christ with his KINDNESS, and GRACE, but he’s also given us WISDOM and UNDERSTANDING.
So I don’t really know what else to say. It’s 4:10AM, and I have a lot on my mind, mostly things that I’m not talking about right now, if you couldn’t tell. Pray for me friends, if you think of me. I’m trying to rest in the knowledge that I’m safe in the arms of Christ, and I’m right where he wants me, but that doesn’t make this valley any easier.
somehow beautiful 