a God of miracles

We serve a God in the business of miracles.  I don’t mean like creepy whatever, I mean like real miracles.  Like we pray and get on our knees, and God provides.  We are left at a dead end, and he does something.

Like raising a knife to kill your son because you believe so strongly that even if your son was to die, God would raise him.

Like becoming pregnant by the Holy Spirit.

But, I want to talk about real life miracles, that happen even today.  Two women in particular who live by faith, and have seen God provide in miraculous ways, even through difficulty, extreme difficulty.

My friend, (I’ll refrain from using names) #1, I have known now for 2 years, and she is amazing.  I have no other words.  She has faced her worst fear over these past few months: pre-cancerous cells found in her body.  “Stage 0” breast cancer.  This person is one of my heroes, but her miracle came in a not so unexpected way: modern medicine.  She is incredible, and went through surgery, a single mastectomy.

I sat there, looking at her just today and thought, I can’t believe it.  She is 30 years old, never married, no children, and she just went through an incredibly huge life change.

Miracles.  God provided those doctors, who have provided a miracle, and she will live a long full, cancer-free life because of this.  And it takes faith.  Faith to know you’re making the right decision.  Doing the right thing for the future, even though you cannot perceive what lies ahead of you.

Now, #2, I’ve known now for about 4 years, she and her husband were unable to get pregnant for 8 years, and finally 3 years ago, resorted to spending thousands of dollars to get pregnant by in vitro fertilization.  God gave them miracle number one: a healthy (and SUPER cute) baby boy.

But they just felt like the weren’t done having children.

In the midst of this, the other two frozen embryos, from the previous treatments, were found not viable.  So, they would have to start all over again with fertility treatments, saving thousands more to go through the entire process again, without even the guarantee of being able to actually get pregnant again.

By a miracle, somehow, someway, they conceived, on their own.  After all the pain and tears, they now have a beautiful baby girl, who I just got to hold tonight, and is now one month old.  My friend sat and teared up, even again about it all, how God answered their prayers for another baby.

Miracles.  Prayer.

We all have our mountains we face, you know exactly what your mountains are, I know mine.  But, do we actually trust God with these things?  Do we trust him that if he wants, he can intervene in just a moment, and everything could completely change?

Let’s face it, we don’t always know best for ourselves.  But, when we face these trials, they are to grow our faith, and these stones of remembrance become a testimony to the world: we serve a LIVING God who delights in his people, who loves to bless us, who desires our attention and worship.

I think of the book of Daniel, I read recently.  Do you believe we serve this same God?  Who can protect us from being burned in the furnace?  Not only that, but walks with us in it?  Or the God who shuts the mouths of lions, protecting our lives?  We can never know all the ways God’s hand of grace and mercy is spread wide over our lives, but we must trust.  What else can we do?  Where else would we go but into his arms?

I hope and pray my life will be the same testimony as these women, that I will stand firm in my faith, even as trials come my way.  We serve a God of miracles.


wait.

it seems like the same conversation happens
again and again
wait, wait, wait
okay.  i’ll wait again

no one to call mine
not that i’m ready for that
but it could be nice
it could be time

somehow you always seem to see me
see me for who i actually am
the good and not so good
the grand and not so grand

but how can i know?
how could i possibly decide?
residing in between fear and regret
is peace

this is the way, walk in it
that’s all i want to hear
to make a decision without question
to take a step without wondering

somehow we figure out how to survive
between the tension of believing
and doubting
and trusting with faith

i think i might need you, too
but only time will tell
only after letting my heart loose
will i know exactly where it lies

waiting is my joy,
my curse, my friend
alone is where i will lay and stay
waiting is where i will remain

mercies new i knew

your mercies are new every morning
fresh as a morning breeze
as real as the wind i can only feel but never touch
your mercies i knew

forgiveness, hope, healing
along with mercies
a cup of cool water rushing to wash away my fears
your mercies i knew

strength to leave the past behind
hope to begin to see a bright tomorrow
a breath of fresh air and a pool of peace to swim in
your mercies i knew

faith to put on my eyes to see
that the darkness cannot exist along with the light
and desperation for you and who you are is better than despair
your mercies i knew

trust to firmly take your hand and walk
beyond the shadows and the lies
the things i once believed to be true, are exposed in you
your mercies, i knew, i know

whispering a gentle “be still”
holding my heart in the palm of your hand
rushing toward me and wiping my tears away
your mercies, i now know

i don’t believe the weather man anymore

No seriously, I don’t.  It’s like the weather here in Oregon has become just like the weather in Thailand, it has a mind of it’s own, which actually I don’t mind much at all since we’ve had some beautiful sunny days with the weather getting up to 60 degrees some days.  That’s a good winter to me, seriously.

I’m eating some frozen Thai chicken thing for lunch, and wishing I was down at Sombat’s eating REAL Thai food, I guess this will have to do for now.

I haven’t blogged much about returning home to the States after a year overseas… well I haven’t really blogged much about anything at all in the past year.  Crazy to think that on April 2, 2009 I returned back to the States, almost a year ago.  Time flies, seriously.

The images and feelings are burned deeply in my mind, even still today.  I was sitting, freezing cold in the Portland airport, watching all the unhappy, fat, and dressed in black (I really don’t know if it’s all that slimming as they say) Americans pass me by, on to their next appointment, flight, whatever.  Busy busy busy.  I just sat in shock, staring at their cold, white faces, and wondering what the rush was.  I was used to the warm, tanned and glowing faces of the Thai people, who smiled all the time, even if they were in a bad mood, or if they were having the worst day of their lives.  It was certainly a shock to be back in the States.   I was ready for Spring, and warm weather, but apparently Oregon hadn’t gotten the memo I was coming back.

That day is still crystal clear in my mind, even today.  Once I arrived in Medford, it was cloudy and cold, but I was warmly welcomed by my family, whom I hadn’t seen in 1o months.  On that day, I also remembered the day I had left, the feeling in my stomach of excitement, with no fear at all.  Yet upon my return, I remember feeling very afraid.  Afriad I would forget Thailand, or that I was making the wrong decision to return, or that in this economy I wouldn’t be able to find a job… a job that was where my heart really was… worship ministry.

Thinking back, it’s easy to see I should have trusted, I should have had faith.. more faith than at the time.  Those are all moments I will never forget, mostly because it was a time when I was most vulnerable, most fearful, yet exciting at the same time.

I miss Thailand, a lot, but I know my life here is still an adventure, even though I’m extremely jealous of my dear friends who get to enjoy Koh Samet any weekend they want.  🙂

Blessings to all who still read.. hope you are well.