Rain on a summer day

just like rain and cold on a summer day in June
it’s how i feel these days
sometimes so out of place
wondering where i belong

the past is far, far behind
much farther than ever before
giving new breath to my lungs
and a new dream to dream

but between catching fireflies I’ve never seen
and jumping as high as I can to catch shooting stars
somehow it needs to all make sense
somehow it all needs to come together pointing which way to go

up?  down?  right?  left?
not even sure which direction I’m walking anymore
but it seems and appears as though you keep walking this way too
through the cloudy and foggy and into the clarity

it seems as though you’ve never left my side
i never really seemed to notice
until now
until the other day

but the darkness sometimes creeps and screams
trying to convince me i’m going the wrong way
but i’m not supposed to turn around
going backwards isn’t going forward

so just like rain on a warm summer day
you seem so strange and out of place to me
yet somehow it fits
somehow, for now it belongs

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wait.

it seems like the same conversation happens
again and again
wait, wait, wait
okay.  i’ll wait again

no one to call mine
not that i’m ready for that
but it could be nice
it could be time

somehow you always seem to see me
see me for who i actually am
the good and not so good
the grand and not so grand

but how can i know?
how could i possibly decide?
residing in between fear and regret
is peace

this is the way, walk in it
that’s all i want to hear
to make a decision without question
to take a step without wondering

somehow we figure out how to survive
between the tension of believing
and doubting
and trusting with faith

i think i might need you, too
but only time will tell
only after letting my heart loose
will i know exactly where it lies

waiting is my joy,
my curse, my friend
alone is where i will lay and stay
waiting is where i will remain