The rumors are true. I’m going back to Nicaragua this summer! Please see my new blog page for more information.
https://somehowbeautiful.wordpress.com/nicaragua-summer-2013/
Obedience
“All these years I have only wanted one thing —
to know and do the Will of God.
And now even in this hard and deep darkness —
I keep wanting only that.
The rest He has taken all —
and I think, He has destroyed everything in me. —
The only thing that keeps me on the surface — is obedience.”
Mother Teresa, Come Be My Light
Holy Week 2013 Thoughts
This year as Easter approaches, I feel somewhat caught off-guard. I no longer work in church ministry (for now), and it was strange during Christmas this year I wasn’t planning Easter dramas and music…
I have participated in a very self-revealing Lent this year that has exposed parts of my heart. I gave up all television and movie watching (apart from watching things with friends, and an occasional Sunday I watched a few shows). Six weeks is a long time. But in many ways it has gone by really quickly. I’m still not quite ready for Easter.
There is much to be said about this significant week, you can read some of my posts from Holy Week 2012 for more devotional reads. I was a little more dedicated last year.
As I slaved away this week writing a paper on the sacrificial system in Leviticus, there was a phrase that caught my attention: the wrath of God satisfied. Of course this reminds me of In Christ Alone (what phrases DON’T remind me of a song?), but in this case it was in the context of Leviticus 16, The Day of Atonement. Once a year, the High Priest made an offering for the corporate sins of the Israelite people. This was to show: the constant daily sacrifices made by the people for their sins was not enough. For a Holy God to continue to dwell among his people and for his wrath to not consume them, atonement had to be made.
God. Dwelling in the camp with His people.
I still am blown away by this.
Anyway. I started this post earlier this week, and now it’s Good Friday. I’m saving more on Leviticus 16 for another post, but for now, for today, we rejoice in the brutal, humiliating death of our Lord Jesus Christ. A sacrifice perfect and sufficient. Unlike the Hebrew people needing to continually make sacrifices in Leviticus, this sacrifice satisfied the wrath of God.
Completely satisfied.
ready to fight
“I am ready to fight. Let down the scarlet cord.
It’s time to shed this masquerade.
You cannot love in moderation
..lay your soul on the threshing floor.
…Kiss the ground and change your name
I heard the distant battle drum
The mockingbird spoke in tongues
Longing for the day to come
I set my face, forsook my fears
I saw the city through my tears
The darkness soon will disappear
And be swallowed by the sun
I am coming home”
As I sat down tonight to write a paper…and then I decided to blog instead. Not an uncommon occurence in my life.
I also sat down to write my own words, and could only hear Matthew Perryman Jones’ words.
I’m ready to fight. It’s time to shed this masquerade. You cannot love in moderation. Kiss the ground and change your name.
I’ve given up so much. I’ve let go of everything. Only to be left with me. All of me. Right here. And in the letting go, I feel like my name has been changed. I am different somehow. In the letting go and release. In the abandon.
Life has no manual. We only have each day to be led by the Spirit of God. That’s it. No rules.
Life is messy. I always want to sweep everything up so that at least the mess is organized and categorized. But it doesn’t work that way. Maybe it’s not my mess anyway.
All I know is I’m down with the masquerade. I have thrown it aside. I can’t keep apologizing for who I am. Or qualifying myself. I’m allowed to feel the way I feel. Without fear of anything. You can reject me. You can say what you want. But it doesn’t matter. Because I can’t change who I am.
The road ahead is unclear
The hazy future lies undiscovered
The path appears unstable
But where else can I go?
Where else can I go but home?
The Valley of Vision
Lord, High and Holy, Meek and Lowly,
Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths by see thee in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.
Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.
Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells, and the deeper wells the brighter thy stars shine;
Let me find thy light in my darkness,
thy life in my death.
thy joy in my sorrow,
thy grace in my sin,
thy riches in my poverty
thy glory in my valley.
— Puritan Prayer, The Valley of Vision
…my soul will rest in Your embrace….
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
Wrath.Grace [John 8]
The scene was not uncommon in the Gospels: Jesus teaching. The audience also not uncommon: the twelve disciples, various other followers, and the skeptics: the religious teachers of the law.
I always image the religious teachers standing with their arms crossed in the back of the crowd whenever Jesus taught. Yet still hanging on to every word Jesus said, to judge and find fault with him, or perhaps on the verge of believing he was more than just a teacher or prophet.
Then, a woman was “placed” before Jesus. This woman, they said was caught in the very act of adultery. “Such women” were to be stoned.
What say you Jesus?
The crowd eagerly listened. Perhaps Mothers with young children scurried back to their homes, offended to be in the presence of this woman. I always imagine her wrapped in a sheet. However this woman was presented, I’m sure her face wasn’t unknown to those in the crowd. They knew her, at least her reputation. And now this reputation was confirmed as she knelt on the ground, weeping tears from the depths of her heart and soul. Her sin was now exposed.
[Too bad the religious leaders were more concerned with what Jesus was about to say or do, and not this woman herself.]
The Old Testament was serious about sin. Well, God is serious about sin, but read Leviticus for a new view. It will bring perspective to the demands a Holy God. He expected holiness from His people. God’s wrath and jealousy for his people was that they have devotion to only Him, and that their actions reflect this devotion.
The religious leaders knew the Old Testament like the back of their hands.
“If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.” Leviticus 20:10
“And I will judge you as women who commit adultery and shed blood are judged, and bring upon you the blood of wrath and jealousy. And I will give you into their hands, and they shall throw down your vaulted chamber and break down your lofty places. They shall strip you of your clothes and take your beautiful jewels and leave you naked and bare. They shall bring up a crowd against you, and they shall stone you and cut you to pieces with their swords.” Ezekiel 16:38-40
Yet this picture in John 8 paints a different picture of God.
(AND, side note = where was the man she had been sleeping with? The law also says he was to be killed too, but for some reason they only felt the need to condemn her. Interesting.)
Next, Jesus writes in the sand. Bible scholars have their own speculations on what he wrote, but truthfully, we really don’t know what it was.
Jesus then said: “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”
[Scribbles in the sand again.]
And one by one, they all walked away.
Every.
Single.
One.
No one condemned her.
No one could condemn her.
Not even the sin-less Jesus Christ, who knelt down next to her.
Friends, there is much to be said about these short 11 verses. But tonight, I will not begin to say it.
We all are sinners in desperate need of God’s grace. Good thing for us: God is in no short supply of grace. He has lavished it upon us in ways we may never know.
So walk in grace today. Wherever you are, whatever your situation, whatever your story is: may it be told with grace. Lining every corner and crevice of your heart.
Beginnings
My time spent away from blogging more than just songs or devotional thoughts quoted from other authors has not been without reason. And definitely not because I don’t have anything to say. If anything, I have more to say now than ever before in my life. And it would probably be an incredibly beneficial act as a Graduate Seminary student to craft some of the Bible and Theology I’ve been taught into my own words. I also am in a journalism class that will likely be a huge contribution to my stress level this semester, but could possibly transform me into a better writer than I’ve ever been. The book we’re reading now continues to stress that it is important to write regularly, and blog regularly. Both I have failed miserably at recently.
This is an attempt to change my silent, non-blogging days into days filled with words.
We will see how long this lasts.
Time is quickly passing, just life, and time tonight. My mind always comes alive in the early hours of the night. I continue to blame this on “never really getting off West Coast time.”
My simple thought for tonight comes from the book of Genesis, in the first couple chapters of the book. My Old Testament Professor has spent the first three weeks of this semester carefully navigating the first handful of chapters of the Bible. The experience has been one of beauty and wonder.
Examining the fall, in Genesis chapter 3, there are a great number of questions we can ask the text as we study and look at it. One of the most perplexing to me has been: where did evil come from? The enemy of God, the serpent in this portion of scripture, wasn’t “created”; it simply is introduced as a character in the narrative. Many argue the “old age earth” position, saying that this specific description of creation was a second creation, leaving a great deal of room for imagination to step back and consider about all the possibilities.
Regardless of where evil and the enemy of God came from, it is beautiful to see the relationship between God and mankind in the garden; simply amazing knowing God walked with Adam and Eve. God provided for every one of their needs, and they shared in deep, personal relationship with Him.
The picture painted of God caring for mankind, who was made in his own image is one I long for today. Theologians speculate about the change that happened after the fall for humans. Did our God-likeness change? Relationships? Diet? Atmosphere? Needs? Some of those questions are addressed and answered as the narrative of Genesis is told, but the relationship between God and man certainly was no longer what it was in the garden, in the beginning.
At this point it would be easy to pull out the “Jesus” card and talk about Christ as our mediator in our relationship with God. But. I’m not going to. I think it is important to ponder these opening chapters of the Bible and simply consider. Ask questions. Wonder.
one thing
Higher than the mountains I face
and it’s stronger than the power of the grave
Constant in the trial and the change
this one thing remains:
Your love never fails, it never gives up, never runs out on me
On and on and on and on it goes
for it overwhelms and satisfies my soul
and I never ever have to be afraid
this one thing remains:
Your love never fails, it never gives up, never runs out on me
In death, in life,
I’m confident
and covered
by the power
of your great love
My debt is paid
there’s nothing that can separate my heart
from your great love
Your love never fails, it never gives up, never runs out on me
I want to follow You, Jesus
When we follow the Spirit
and wait for the Lord
We find strength for tomorrow
and trust for His word
I wanna follow You
I wanna go with You, Jesus
somehow beautiful 
