ready to fight

“I am ready to fight.  Let down the scarlet cord.
It’s time to shed this masquerade.
You cannot love in moderation
..lay your soul on the threshing floor.

…Kiss the ground and change your name

I heard the distant battle drum
The mockingbird spoke in tongues
Longing for the day to come
I set my face, forsook my fears
I saw the city through my tears
The darkness soon will disappear
And be swallowed by the sun
I am coming home”

As I sat down tonight to write a paper…and then I decided to blog instead.  Not an uncommon occurence in my life.

I also sat down to write my own words, and could only hear Matthew Perryman Jones’ words.

I’m ready to fight.  It’s time to shed this masquerade.  You cannot love in moderation.  Kiss the ground and change your name.

I’ve given up so much.  I’ve let go of everything.  Only to be left with me.  All of me.  Right here.  And in the letting go, I feel like my name has been changed.  I am different somehow.  In the letting go and release.  In the abandon.

Life has no manual.  We only have each day to be led by the Spirit of God.  That’s it.  No rules.

Life is messy.  I always want to sweep everything up so that at least the mess is organized and categorized.  But it doesn’t work that way.  Maybe it’s not my mess anyway.

All I know is I’m down with the masquerade.  I have thrown it aside.  I can’t keep apologizing for who I am.  Or qualifying myself.  I’m allowed to feel the way I feel.  Without fear of anything.  You can reject me.  You can say what you want.  But it doesn’t matter.  Because I can’t change who I am.

The road ahead is unclear
The hazy future lies undiscovered
The path appears unstable
But where else can I go?
Where else can I go but home?

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