Category: Life

FAITHFUL

Meridith1 Comment

I must pause.  My heart is overflowing because in the midst of struggle, I have to stop and I’m drawn to my knees because of this one thing:  GOD IS FAITHFUL!!!

Things change.  People lie.  People leave.  Unfaithfulness is all around me.  I am surrounded in brokenness.  I walk along a very broken path that is rained upon by tears and blood.  BUT HE IS FAITHFUL.  UNCHANGING.

“When God spoke from Mount Sinai his voice shook the earth, but now he makes another promise: ‘Once again I will shake not only the earth but the heavens also.’  This means that all of creation will be shaken and removed, so that only unshakable things will remain.  Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe, for our God is a devouring fire.'” Hebrews 12:26-29

Scars and struggles on the way 
But with joy our hearts can say:
Never once did we ever walk alone 
Never once did You leave us on our own 
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Definition: Faithful: Loyal, constant, and steadfast.
This doesn’t even begin to describe the God we serve.
He never leaves us.  Think about this.  No matter what has happened, or what will happen, he’s not going anywhere.  He is faithful.  It’s so comforting thinking through the events of my life, just in the past 3 years, let alone my whole life, seeing that he has been there.
I’ve faced some dark days.  I’m not about to sit here and tell you everything’s great.  It’s not.  In fact I’ve walked a road the past few months I never EVER wanted to walk.  But I’ve decided that following him is so much better than walking away from him or disregarding what he tells me to do an where he leads me.
I have to apologize too, to my friends.  I’ve been consumed.  And many of you, most of you in fact, I have not let you in about this.  I’ve just been working through it all and been…. self consumed.  Please, forgive me.
Not only is God faithful and with us, but we all have each other. Surrounded by grace to spread the good news to this broken earth.
He is good.  Never once.  Never once have we ever walked alone.

May my prayer

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      “May my prayer like incense rise before You
The lifting of my hands a sacrifice
Oh Lord Jesus turn Your eyes upon me
For I know there is mercy in Your sight
Your statutes are my heritage forever
My heart is set on keeping Your decrees
Please still my anxious urge toward rebellion
Let love keep my will upon its knees

To all creation I can see a limit
But Your commands are boundless and have none
So Your word is my joy and meditation
From the rising to the setting of the sun
All Your ways are loving and are faithful
Your road is narrow but Your burden light
Because You gladly lean to lead the humble
I shall gladly kneel to leave my pride”

Worship and running. It’s all training.

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This was an article I wrote for our church email newsletter last fall, but I was reading over it as I’ve begun training now for the Bangkok Marathon, and reminded of the discipline in our lives it takes not only for physical things, but also in our expression of worship… (October 15, 2010)

FBC weekly
Staff Corner
Meridith Johnson, Director of
Worship Ministry
One step at a time.
     Many of you may have heard or knew that I ran the Portland Marathon this past Sunday, and the only way that I was able to accomplish this life-goal of mine, was to run one step at a time.  The last few miles of the 26.2 mile race I verbally repeated to myself over and over, “it’s almost over, I’m almost done”.  And then, before long, I did finish.  I ran the race.  I accomplished a goal.
     Now you may ask, “I thought this report was about worship?”, and yes, it is, let me get to that.  You see, I’ve never been an athletic person, I was a cheerleader in High School, and could hardly run a mile until I was probably 21.  But with perseverance, practice, and discipline, I trained for shorter races, and soon the distances I once thought were hard and unbelievably long, became easy and didn’t seem as long as they seemed to be.
     Worship is something we will never really understand, or comprehend, but through Scripture, we see that as God’s people, it is an act we are commanded to do.  Something happens when as a church, we gather and corporately praise God and verbally sing, say, and pray what we know to be true of our God.  Just like the marathon I ran, I had no idea what the experience would be like until I began training, and working at doing something I wasn’t comfortable with.  Worship I would say is the same in many respects.  When we ascribe that our God is worthy (where we get the word “worship”), sometimes it is uncomfortable and sometimes we don’t feel like worshipping, but the end result and goal is always accomplished when we are willing.  God is always lifted high, and his name is glorified.
     During my months of training, some mornings I would wake up only to see it was way too early for anyone to do anything on a Saturday, then eventually I would stumble out of bed to run.  Sunday mornings, or all mornings our worship may feel the same way to us, like a chore.  But when we worship, Psalm 22:3 says that God inhabits the praises of his people.  Other translations for this Hebrew word yashab are “to dwell”, “to remain”, “to sit” or “to abide”.  This verb implies God’s action on his part to dwell and be among us when we worship him.  There is something uncomfortable about the idea that God dwells with us when we worship, the living God, among us, his people.  The experience is indescribable, but worth the effort of our time and attention.
     Now, many of you have never run a marathon, and maybe never will, but you can choose to work at your personal worship and as a body our expression of praise corporately as a church.  This weekend, may you worship God in every word, activity, and breath, and on Sunday, every Sunday, may our sacrifice of praise be authentic, and change our hearts and lives.

(almost) dead on arrival

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almost dead on arrival
i pulled myself up out of the ashes
opening the door with near ease and a good push
stepping through the threshold and slamming the past behind, along with the door

head pounding, heart sinking
i found myself alone once again
covered in blood, sweat, and dirt
but i didn’t mind the silence, or the filth

time to clean up, i thought to myself
only there was so much still to do
as i began washing the dishes and sweeping the floors of my heart
i realized i was missing something, i just didn’t know what

i sill had my hands
strong enough to play instruments
i still had my voice
clear and ringing with no change

wasn’t that.

i glanced in the mirror to look at my face
the face i supposed i’d always had
yes, still looked the same to me
only a few small wrinkles forming, and white hairs growing on my head of hair

i searched my room, the heart of me
what was missing?
my journals nicely stacked, Bible on the end table
everything nicely lined up and in perfect order

i paged through bills
all stacked on my bookshelf
along with many books i probably will never read
then through the piles, i found what was missing

only what was missing, really shouldn’t be there at all
the memories of someone who never really was
who never really belonged in my heart and home at all
he needed to go

but for some reason i still held onto that framed photo of two smiling faces
maybe because at first i thought i would have reason to put it out again
but mostly because when it ended i couldn’t even look at him anymore
so i slammed it down, and buried it with my bills and Christmas cards

i stumbled home nearly dead on arrival
because for some reason this small piece was creating a huge weight in my heart
what am i missing?
i’m not even sure anymore.

i’m missing peace of mind and comfort in fears
i’m missing the dreams i once carried in my pocket
that are now hard to find
i’m missing the life i desperately want to live
but can’t because for some reason you’re still everywhere i go

can you just leave me alone?
let me be the person i was before you came along and stole my heart?
you don’t belong
you never did.

sometimes it just can’t be spoken…

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..it must be put to music.  Or in the words of another…

You say to us seek Your face
Our hearts reply, Your face we seek
And come teach us Lord, reveal Your ways
Anoint us for the greater things

We have gathered with one thirst and hunger
We’re here to drink of glory and wonder,
Here to cry out
Come and fill this place
Come and fill this place

And our single wish, our sole desire
To gaze upon Your beauty God
We will not rest, nor will we cease
Till with our eyes, Your face we see

We have gathered with one thirst and hunger
We’re here to drink of glory and wonder,
Here to cry out
Come and fill this place, this place
Come and fill this place, this place

We wait for You to come and show Your glory here today…

Alleluia come, Alleluia come, Alleluia come, Alleluia come!

God’s heart for the poor

Meridith1 Comment

The God of the poor.  God has a special place in his heart for those who are poor, not only that but the poor are part of WHO God actually is, and names he is called by:

  • Defender of the fatherless and widows (Deut. 10:18; Psalm 10:16-18; 40:17, 68:5; Jeremiah 22:16)
  • Protector of the poor (Psalm 12:5)
  • Rescuer of the poor (I Sam 2:8, Psalm 35:10, 72:4, 12-14, Isaiah 19:20, Jeremiah 20:13)
  • Provider of the poor (Psalm 68:10, 146:7, Isaiah 41:17)
  • Savior of the poor (Psalm 34:6, 109:31)
  • Refuge of the poor (Psalm 14:6, Isaiah 25:4).

I’ve been thinking a lot about this.  God honors humility and those who see their need for God.  Hunger- both physical and spiritual is the starting point for change.  Necessity.

Matthew 5:3 (ESV) “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 5:3 (MSG) “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope.  With less of you there is more room for God and his rule.”

Kingdom of Heaven/Kingdom of God = for those who are poor.

Matthew 5:6 (ESV) “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.”

Thirst and hunger makes me think of desperation.  If someone is so empty, they become desperate for anything that will satisfy.  If we are searching for righteousness, we will be satisfied.

I’ve thought about this on and off for the past 4 years or so, ever since my trip to India.  The poverty was astounding.  People dying on the sides of the road, and children begging on every corner you turn around.  It’s almost more than you can even imagine, if you’ve never experienced it.  I’ve been reading “The Hole in Our Gospel” by World Vision President Richard Stearns, and it’s given me some more perspective.  Check out this link to more scripture concerning poverty, and what the Bible says about it.  Why is it that we seem to skim over these sections of scripture, instead of actually thinking about it?  Have we made poverty something that only exists third world countries?  Have we distanced ourselves from this, simply because we don’t see ourselves as “that rich” here in America?  Those of us who are “middle class” don’t see ourselves as wealthy?

More to come in future posts.  It becomes so easy for us as Americans to sit back, cross our arms and talk all day about poverty.  It’s sure easier to do that than sell all our belongings and give to the poor.  Talk is talk, and talk is cheap.  It’s faith in action that requires more.  A lot more.  Maybe everything we have.

 

Marriage and other thoughts

Meridith1 Comment

This may be a 1, 2 or perhaps 3 part blog entry.  But here we go.

This may be controversial.  But if anything, it’s definitely counter-cultural.  Marriage these days is counter-cultural.

If you watch any bit of television, you see this.  I am unashamed to admit I’m a huge Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice fan, but I will also admit that many of the ideals presented in these shows are totally against Biblical standards for purity and marriage.

I have an interesting outlook on life.  Example number one:  My parents were married at 29 and 32, almost 27 years ago.  Back then, that was OLD.  But these days, this is typical, in fact, marrying even later than this is fairly typical these days.

Mindset/example number two: I always wanted to get married and have kids.  Until recently.  I grew up thinking about my wedding, what it would be like, how romantic it would be.  I dreamed of being that soccer mom driving kids to practice in a van.  Totally.  That was me.  In fact I went through years of feeling extremely lonely and depressed because i was  (duh duh duh…) SINGLE.  I was single for a lonnnnngggg time.  My first boyfriend = age 25.  First kiss= age 25.

But things have shifted.  Example number three: I think many may see me and feel sorry for me.  I’m 26 and single.  But you know what, I’m in an awesome place.  For the very first time, I feel freedom in my singleness I never understood or learned to embrace before.  I feel content and totally fine walking hand in hand with just God and I right now.

But.  Two things are warring against one another.  The culture says to embrace freedom, liberty, and sexuality.  Singleness in our culture means you have a free ticket to explore whatever sexual avenues you want.  Homosexuality, many MANY sexual partners…. among other sinful activities.  Watch one episode of Grey’s Anatomy and you have an accurate picture of how our culture sees things.  Not only this, but hey, if you aren’t ready for marriage but you’re seeing someone, by the second date if you haven’t slept together, there’s definitely something wrong with one of you!

Then, we have God’s picture.  Many right winged Christians advocate for early marriages, and that this can lead to less promiscuity (fairly true), and that God’s entire design is for man and woman to be together, not alone and separate.

But, we live in a fallen, sinful world, may I remind you.

So, what does this mean for me?

I am 26 years old.  I am a virgin.  I have no foresight of being married in the near future, yet so many Christians see me and think that I must be desperate to meet someone.  Not true.  And those who are living a worldly lifestyle assume I’ve had multiple sexual partners and am living in total freedom.  Two worlds screaming at me, but neither is true.  Neither paints a picture of who I am.

I believe God has made us for relationships, to desire protection, care, and to live life with one another.  Out of Adam’s side was Eve created.  Not so that Eve would serve and slave for her husband, but that they could stand hand in hand, side by side, serving God together.  He completes her, and she completes him.

A number of things have delayed the marrying age in our society.  I don’t mean to play the blame game, but seriously, there are few men in my life right now I can say I would even consider dating, let alone marrying.  Many of them are boys, not men.  Many of them spend hours playing video games, eating pizza and drinking.  This is not responsibility, and guys, no woman wants to marry that.  Get yourself together, do things, be productive, read your Bible, be mentored by a Godly older man, and make steps toward marriage, if you believe God will one day call you to this.  We live in a culture that increasingly encourages boys to remain boys, instead of encouraging men to be men.  And now, you’ll find more and more women who are single, leaders, and completely take charge type women, because guess what?  No men are being men.

God knows and sees this.  I just wanted to point out a few statistical reasons why the average age for men and women to marry is gradually being pushed back. In 2010 the average age for men marrying (first marriages) was 28, and women age 26.

Then there is the subject of divorce.

That is an entirely different blog right there.

Perhaps there will be a part 2 or 3 to come.  But for now, that’s all I got.  Back to work.

Informational website on marriage statistics:
http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0005061.html

Rain on a summer day

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just like rain and cold on a summer day in June
it’s how i feel these days
sometimes so out of place
wondering where i belong

the past is far, far behind
much farther than ever before
giving new breath to my lungs
and a new dream to dream

but between catching fireflies I’ve never seen
and jumping as high as I can to catch shooting stars
somehow it needs to all make sense
somehow it all needs to come together pointing which way to go

up?  down?  right?  left?
not even sure which direction I’m walking anymore
but it seems and appears as though you keep walking this way too
through the cloudy and foggy and into the clarity

it seems as though you’ve never left my side
i never really seemed to notice
until now
until the other day

but the darkness sometimes creeps and screams
trying to convince me i’m going the wrong way
but i’m not supposed to turn around
going backwards isn’t going forward

so just like rain on a warm summer day
you seem so strange and out of place to me
yet somehow it fits
somehow, for now it belongs