This may be controversial. But if anything, it’s definitely counter-cultural. Marriage these days is counter-cultural.
If you watch any bit of television, you see this. I am unashamed to admit I’m a huge Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice fan, but I will also admit that many of the ideals presented in these shows are totally against Biblical standards for purity and marriage.
I have an interesting outlook on life. Example number one: My parents were married at 29 and 32, almost 27 years ago. Back then, that was OLD. But these days, this is typical, in fact, marrying even later than this is fairly typical these days.
Mindset/example number two: I always wanted to get married and have kids. Until recently. I grew up thinking about my wedding, what it would be like, how romantic it would be. I dreamed of being that soccer mom driving kids to practice in a van. Totally. That was me. In fact I went through years of feeling extremely lonely and depressed because i was (duh duh duh…) SINGLE. I was single for a lonnnnngggg time. My first boyfriend = age 25. First kiss= age 25.
But things have shifted. Example number three: I think many may see me and feel sorry for me. I’m 26 and single. But you know what, I’m in an awesome place. For the very first time, I feel freedom in my singleness I never understood or learned to embrace before. I feel content and totally fine walking hand in hand with just God and I right now.
But. Two things are warring against one another. The culture says to embrace freedom, liberty, and sexuality. Singleness in our culture means you have a free ticket to explore whatever sexual avenues you want. Homosexuality, many MANY sexual partners…. among other sinful activities. Watch one episode of Grey’s Anatomy and you have an accurate picture of how our culture sees things. Not only this, but hey, if you aren’t ready for marriage but you’re seeing someone, by the second date if you haven’t slept together, there’s definitely something wrong with one of you!
Then, we have God’s picture. Many right winged Christians advocate for early marriages, and that this can lead to less promiscuity (fairly true), and that God’s entire design is for man and woman to be together, not alone and separate.
But, we live in a fallen, sinful world, may I remind you.
So, what does this mean for me?
I am 26 years old. I am a virgin. I have no foresight of being married in the near future, yet so many Christians see me and think that I must be desperate to meet someone. Not true. And those who are living a worldly lifestyle assume I’ve had multiple sexual partners and am living in total freedom. Two worlds screaming at me, but neither is true. Neither paints a picture of who I am.
I believe God has made us for relationships, to desire protection, care, and to live life with one another. Out of Adam’s side was Eve created. Not so that Eve would serve and slave for her husband, but that they could stand hand in hand, side by side, serving God together. He completes her, and she completes him.
A number of things have delayed the marrying age in our society. I don’t mean to play the blame game, but seriously, there are few men in my life right now I can say I would even consider dating, let alone marrying. Many of them are boys, not men. Many of them spend hours playing video games, eating pizza and drinking. This is not responsibility, and guys, no woman wants to marry that. Get yourself together, do things, be productive, read your Bible, be mentored by a Godly older man, and make steps toward marriage, if you believe God will one day call you to this. We live in a culture that increasingly encourages boys to remain boys, instead of encouraging men to be men. And now, you’ll find more and more women who are single, leaders, and completely take charge type women, because guess what? No men are being men.
God knows and sees this. I just wanted to point out a few statistical reasons why the average age for men and women to marry is gradually being pushed back. In 2010 the average age for men marrying (first marriages) was 28, and women age 26.
Then there is the subject of divorce.
That is an entirely different blog right there.
Perhaps there will be a part 2 or 3 to come. But for now, that’s all I got. Back to work.
Informational website on marriage statistics: