Category: Life

Simple Trust.

MeridithLeave a comment

A familiar verse, one we like to quote a lot, but even less often do we live it:

Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.”

Trust.  Sounds so simple, but how much do we really trust God?  I was reading a commentary tonight that hit me really hard, it brought me to tears because I often don’t live this way.  Trust demands a response from the entire being, the entire person.  It means we must humbly set aside our human understanding and and with our whole heart, our whole being, trust God.  The difference here
is contrasted between the understanding that comes as a result of treasuring wisdom, and the wisdom that comes from our own understanding, which “undermines faith.”

“Acknowledge” of God has a different understanding than you may realize.  “The verb is ‘know him,’ and it reflects the intimate experience of a personal relationship.  The sequence of the lines may also suggest their communication of a promise: by trusting him fully you will know him […] When obedient faith is present, the Lord will guide the believer along life’s paths in spite of difficulties and hindrances…” (Expositors Bible Commentary: Proverbs).

Trust is a call for total commitment.  There is no middle ground, you either trust God, or you do not.  Will you choose trust today?

 

 

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2994 Hawaiian Avenue.

Meridith1 Comment

I’m not sure what triggered it, but the other day I had this intense longing to go to my Grandma and Grandpa’s house.  The arrival into their driveway, the few steps you take up to the doorway, then after a good, loud knock (Grandpa definitely has some hearing problems), Grandma would greet us at the door with a huge smile across her face and wide open arms to hug each of us.  One, two, three, four girls… then Mom and Dad.

No doubt on this visit, like all the others, Grandma would have her apron on, covered in flour after just finishing the pie crust for chocolate pudding pie, my personal favorite.

The smell of Grandma and Grandpa’s house isn’t one you can replicate in a tiny candle called “Grandpa and Grandma’s house”, but if they did make a candle that smelled like their house, I most surely would have it.

The smells of dinner in the oven, pies baking, dusty books in the library, a collection of old coats from the 80’s in the closet, leather cowboy boots, laundry detergent, the dog and of course Grandpa’s aftershave and Grandma’s “Moonlit Path” lotion from Bath and Body Works.  All those smells together just make your troubles melt away as you step in the door.

Of course like any other visit, my sisters and I would either be fighting over who would use the computer, who would first play the keyboard or who would swing on the swing set built by my Grandpa outside.

Before too long, Mom gave us a look that so clearly communicated: “Remember to ask Grandma if she needs any help… OR ELSE!” and of course as the oldest, and most responsible, I was the only one to actually help.  But, whatever, I never minded because it usually meant I could sneak a little sample of dessert while no one was looking.

Dinners were memorable, and of course better than any weeknight meal we might have at home.  Grandpa always piled his food so high, and we could bet he would ask someone to “toss a roll” at some point during dinner.  So of course, we did.  Literally.

Peace.  Their home with all the smells, sounds, sights and memories makes me feel at peace, it still does.  Even today, seven years since my Grandfather’s death and almost almost three years since my Grandma’s death.

I can think of that home and be instantly transported to those treasured moments.

I miss them.  A lot.

Now, the home is unoccupied, owned by the bank.  I think.

One day I hope it will be filled with the laughter that so filled our family dinners, the tears that often streamed down my face when I sat in Grandpa’s empty chair needing advice from my Grandma and joy that will impact a new generation.

Nothing is meaningless.

Nothing is lost.

Hope remains.

I can’t wait to see Grandpa and Grandma again one day.  This time, in our TRUE home.

Tuesday Thoughts

Meridith1 Comment

I’ve hit an interesting point in my seminary education that’s hard to describe.  As one of my favorite profs put it: you get to the point where you know enough to be dangerous.

Maybe it’s that.  Actually, it’s more than I know enough where when I talk about some of these concepts, ideas or Biblical textual criticisms/perspectives I can begin a discussion.. but… I don’t know enough to really “know” it.  Am I even making any sense?  Probably not.  There I go again…

I’ve been thinking a lot….
That’s not new for me, but I’ve been think a lot about forgiveness, life, dreams, aspirations, singleness, changing of seasons, longings, Christmas, money… the list goes on.  Sometimes the brain just needs to be turned off.  Like now, yup, now would be a good time.

I started this blog thinking it would turn into some kind of spiritual devotional for all my masses or readers (insert sarcastic eye roll), but, nope.  It’s not going to be that.  I’ve been sitting here on the couch since I got home from work a couple of hours ago working on some other work-ish projects.. now, bed time.

If anyone is even reading anymore, peace.  Blessings.  I miss y’all.

Yes, I just said y’all.  I am Texan now.

Waiting

Meridith2 Comments

Psalm 130:5-6 ESV

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope;
 my soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen for the morning,
more than watchmen for the morning.

Psalm 130:5-6 NET

I rely on the Lord,
I rely on him with my whole being;
I wait for his assuring word.
 I yearn for the Lord,
more than watchmen do for the morning,
yes, more than watchmen do for the morning.

This morning I was spending time reading this Psalm in a couple different translations.  I’ve thought a lot about waiting over the past year.  What does it mean to wait for the Lord?  In short, the Hebrew verb for wait also can be translated “to look” or “expect”…. also the word “linger.”

To linger in expectation of the Lord.  Waiting doesn’t mean doing nothing.  Waiting means anticipating.  Looking.  Lingering.  There is an active sense to this word that sometimes seems so passive at first glance.

I love the NET, “I wait for his assuring word.”  Sometimes that’s all we need, right?  Just his assuring word.  His gentle guidance and leading.

“More than watchmen waiting for morning.”  Cities at the time the Psalmist writes this psalm were fortified by walls in order to keep those inside the city safe from outside forces.  Watchmen were responsible for watching through the night to ensure the safety of those residing within the city walls.  I could be reading into this, but I’m sure there was a sense of relief once the morning came, and the shift of the night watchmen came to an end.  There is something comforting about daylight, and having the advantage of seeing in daylight possible danger coming from a distance to a city.

Yet the psalmist longs for the Lord more than even these watchmen on duty at night longed for the first signs of daylight on the horizon.

There was an intense expectation for the Lord to move, act and deliver on his word.  The psalmist is sure of God’s action, yet without promise of the Lord’s timing in his waiting.

We all wait at different times and in different ways as we go through life.  Sometimes, we just wade through dry, desert seasons and expectantly wait for God’s presence and guiding word to come to us.  Other times, we wait through intense storms and difficulty.

Find encouragement today.  As you linger in expectation.  Waiting involves action to look, and expect his presence to show up.  So don’t give up hope.

Keep waiting.
Keep watching.
Keep lingering.

Holy Week 2013 Thoughts

MeridithLeave a comment

This year as Easter approaches, I feel somewhat caught off-guard.  I no longer work in church ministry (for now), and it was strange during Christmas this year I wasn’t planning Easter dramas and music…

I have participated in a very self-revealing Lent this year that has exposed parts of my heart.  I  gave up all television and movie watching (apart from watching things with friends, and an occasional Sunday I watched a few shows).  Six weeks is a long time.  But in many ways it has gone by really quickly.  I’m still not quite ready for Easter.

There is much to be said about this significant week, you can read some of my posts from Holy Week 2012 for more devotional reads.  I was a little more dedicated last year.

As I slaved away this week writing a paper on the sacrificial system in Leviticus, there was a phrase that caught my attention: the wrath of God satisfied.  Of course this reminds me of In Christ Alone (what phrases DON’T remind me of a song?), but in this case it was in the context of Leviticus 16, The Day of Atonement.  Once a year, the High Priest made an offering for the corporate sins of the Israelite people.  This was to show: the constant daily sacrifices made by the people for their sins was not enough.  For a Holy God to continue to dwell among his people and for his wrath to not consume them, atonement had to be made.

God.  Dwelling in the camp with His people.

I still am blown away by this.

Anyway.  I started this post earlier this week, and now it’s Good Friday.  I’m saving more on Leviticus 16 for another post, but for now, for today, we rejoice in the brutal, humiliating death of our Lord Jesus Christ.  A sacrifice perfect and sufficient.  Unlike the Hebrew people needing to continually make sacrifices in Leviticus, this sacrifice satisfied the wrath of God.

Completely satisfied.

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ready to fight

MeridithLeave a comment

“I am ready to fight.  Let down the scarlet cord.
It’s time to shed this masquerade.
You cannot love in moderation
..lay your soul on the threshing floor.

…Kiss the ground and change your name

I heard the distant battle drum
The mockingbird spoke in tongues
Longing for the day to come
I set my face, forsook my fears
I saw the city through my tears
The darkness soon will disappear
And be swallowed by the sun
I am coming home”

As I sat down tonight to write a paper…and then I decided to blog instead.  Not an uncommon occurence in my life.

I also sat down to write my own words, and could only hear Matthew Perryman Jones’ words.

I’m ready to fight.  It’s time to shed this masquerade.  You cannot love in moderation.  Kiss the ground and change your name.

I’ve given up so much.  I’ve let go of everything.  Only to be left with me.  All of me.  Right here.  And in the letting go, I feel like my name has been changed.  I am different somehow.  In the letting go and release.  In the abandon.

Life has no manual.  We only have each day to be led by the Spirit of God.  That’s it.  No rules.

Life is messy.  I always want to sweep everything up so that at least the mess is organized and categorized.  But it doesn’t work that way.  Maybe it’s not my mess anyway.

All I know is I’m down with the masquerade.  I have thrown it aside.  I can’t keep apologizing for who I am.  Or qualifying myself.  I’m allowed to feel the way I feel.  Without fear of anything.  You can reject me.  You can say what you want.  But it doesn’t matter.  Because I can’t change who I am.

The road ahead is unclear
The hazy future lies undiscovered
The path appears unstable
But where else can I go?
Where else can I go but home?

The Valley of Vision

MeridithLeave a comment


Lord, High and Holy, Meek and Lowly,

Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths by see thee in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.

Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells, and the deeper wells the brighter thy stars shine;
Let me find thy light in my darkness,
thy life in my death.
thy joy in my sorrow,
thy grace in my sin,
thy riches in my poverty
thy glory in my valley.

— Puritan Prayer, The Valley of Vision

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The season of Advent, a season of waiting

  The season of Advent has long been known as the season of waiting.  Advent both looks to the past, and the birth of Christ, and to the future, when Christ will once again come back to earth, but come as King. Even before Advent began this year, I sensed a restlessness; a stirring within […]

MeridithLeave a comment

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The season of Advent has long been known as the season of waiting.  Advent both looks to the past, and the birth of Christ, and to the future, when Christ will once again come back to earth, but come as King.

Even before Advent began this year, I sensed a restlessness; a stirring within my own heart of both anxiousness and stillness.  This season of waiting came as a timely reminder in my own life.  Interestingly, I’m apart of a group for a project which we are presenting tomorrow, and the passage we decided to focus on was 2 Peter 3:8-15a:

8 But do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day. 9 The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.  10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, in which the heavens will pass away with a roar and the elements will be destroyed with intense heat, and the earth and its works will be burned up.  11 Since all these things are to be destroyed in this way, what sort of people ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness, 12 looking for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be destroyed by burning, and the elements will melt with intense heat!  13 But according to His promise we are looking for new heavens and a new earth, in which righteousness dwells.14 Therefore, beloved, since you look for these things, be diligent to be found by Him in peace,spotless and blameless, 15 and regard the patience of our Lord as salvation…

There are a number of things about this passage that are notable, especially during the Advent season of looking back and looking forward.  As we consider our own lives, where God has moved mightily, and still, areas where it seems God has been silent.  A timeless truth to be extracted from this passage is that God keeps his promises.  This passage is more concerned with timing, particularly in verse 8 and 9, but the first truth to note is that God will deliver, he will come through.  He does not exist within the bounds of time, as we do, he dwells above time itself.  Take a moment to ponder that truth: it will blow your mind!

Secondly, “slow”, does not mean he does not hear, and “slow” does not mean no either.  This particular passage is speaking about Christ’s return, but I would venture out to say this is a truth that can be applied to any situation.  (Or perhaps the greater theological question is: how much intervention does God have in our day to day lives, and how much of our own lives/circumstances do WE have control over… BUT, I will save that for another discussion perhaps.)

When it comes to waiting, I’m a terrible waiter.  Waiting at the grocery store, traffic, for the dressing room… it seems like since moving to a big city my wait time and drive time for EVERYTHING has gotten about 10 times longer.  I hate waiting.  Our culture also hates waiting.  Stillness?  Quiet?  “Wasting time” by not doing anything?  These seem like foreign concepts.  I constantly am listening to music, checking the weather  (77 F and sunny tomorrow), checking the news.. all on this small little portable device I call a “cell phone”… except who even uses the term “cell phone” anymore.. it’s more like phone.  Iphone.  Something other than “cell phone” or “cellular device”….anyway.

Henri Nouwen is one of my favorite authors, he has a way of penning my thoughts on paper so often.  He writes of Advent and waiting:

Just imagine what Mary was actually saying in the words, “I am the handmaid of the Lord.  Let what you have said be done to me” Luke 1:38.  She was saying “I don’t know what tis all means, but I trust that good things will happen”.  She trusted so deeply that her waiting was open to all possibilities.  And she did not want to control them.  She believed that she when she listened carefully, she could trust what was going to happen.

To wait open-endedly is an enormously radical attitude toward life.  It is trusting that something will happen to us that is far beyond our own imaginings.  It is giving up control over our future and letting God define our life.  It is living with the conviction that God moulds us according to God’s love and not according to our fear.  The spiritual life in which we wait, actively present to the moment, expecting new things will happen to us, new things that are far beyond our own imaginination or prediction.  That, indeed, is a very radical stance in a world preoccupied with control.

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I couldn’t say it any better than the last paragraph.  In order to wait, we must give up control, trusting God to work.  He is not slow to keep his promises.  But we know through His word that His Spirit is with us always, guiding and leading us.  And that, in and of itself is a promise fulfilled and alive in us.

So in this season as we celebrate Emmanuel, “God with Us”, Jesus, remember he is still with us, by His Spirit.  And still, Christ will comeagain for us.  “Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord.”… 1 Thess. 4:17.