“All these years I have only wanted one thing —
to know and do the Will of God.
And now even in this hard and deep darkness —
I keep wanting only that.
The rest He has taken all —
and I think, He has destroyed everything in me. —
The only thing that keeps me on the surface — is obedience.”
Mother Teresa, Come Be My Light
My time spent away from blogging more than just songs or devotional thoughts quoted from other authors has not been without reason. And definitely not because I don’t have anything to say. If anything, I have more to say now than ever before in my life. And it would probably be an incredibly beneficial act as a Graduate Seminary student to craft some of the Bible and Theology I’ve been taught into my own words. I also am in a journalism class that will likely be a huge contribution to my stress level this semester, but could possibly transform me into a better writer than I’ve ever been. The book we’re reading now continues to stress that it is important to write regularly, and blog regularly. Both I have failed miserably at recently.
This is an attempt to change my silent, non-blogging days into days filled with words.
We will see how long this lasts.
Time is quickly passing, just life, and time tonight. My mind always comes alive in the early hours of the night. I continue to blame this on “never really getting off West Coast time.”
My simple thought for tonight comes from the book of Genesis, in the first couple chapters of the book. My Old Testament Professor has spent the first three weeks of this semester carefully navigating the first handful of chapters of the Bible. The experience has been one of beauty and wonder.
Examining the fall, in Genesis chapter 3, there are a great number of questions we can ask the text as we study and look at it. One of the most perplexing to me has been: where did evil come from? The enemy of God, the serpent in this portion of scripture, wasn’t “created”; it simply is introduced as a character in the narrative. Many argue the “old age earth” position, saying that this specific description of creation was a second creation, leaving a great deal of room for imagination to step back and consider about all the possibilities.
Regardless of where evil and the enemy of God came from, it is beautiful to see the relationship between God and mankind in the garden; simply amazing knowing God walked with Adam and Eve. God provided for every one of their needs, and they shared in deep, personal relationship with Him.
The picture painted of God caring for mankind, who was made in his own image is one I long for today. Theologians speculate about the change that happened after the fall for humans. Did our God-likeness change? Relationships? Diet? Atmosphere? Needs? Some of those questions are addressed and answered as the narrative of Genesis is told, but the relationship between God and man certainly was no longer what it was in the garden, in the beginning.
At this point it would be easy to pull out the “Jesus” card and talk about Christ as our mediator in our relationship with God. But. I’m not going to. I think it is important to ponder these opening chapters of the Bible and simply consider. Ask questions. Wonder.
For the next week, I will (hopefully) be daily posting scripture readings, and book or quote excerpts leading up to Easter, on Sunday morning. This time of year is one that resonates deeply in my heart, but part of the journey to Easter morning, with the experience of joy celebrating the risen Christ, is walking through Holy Week, which can often be shadowed by darkness. Jesus Christ endured the cross, and went to the depths of Hell, the rose again in order to save us.
We cannot fully worship the risen Savior until we understand the depth of our humanity and sin. I look forward to the joy of Sunday morning, and worshipping in freedom. I hope these next few days will bring light to your eyes, and turn hearts to Christ, and understanding more his immense love for us.
—–
Ephesians 2:13-16. “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.”
—–
From A Letter of Consolation, by Henri J.M. Nouwen: “During this Holy Week we are confronted with death more than during any other season of the liturgical year. We are called to mediate not just on death in general or on our own death in particular, but on the death of Jesus Christ who is God and Man. We are challenged to look at Him dying on a cross and to find there the meaning of our own life and death. What strikes me most in all that is read and said during these days is that Jesus of Nazareth did not die for himself, but for us, and that in following Him we too are called to make our death a death for others.
What makes you and me Christians is not only our belief that He who was without sin died for our sake on the cross and thus opened for us the way to His heavenly Father, but also that through His death our death is transformed from a totally absurd end of all that gives life its meaning into an event that liberates us and those whom we love.
—–
From In Search of the Beyond by Carlo Coretto: “Jesus became a sacrament for me, the cause of my salvation, he brought my time in hell to an end, and put a stop to my inner disintegration. He washed me patiently in the waters of baptism, he filled me with the exhilarating joy of the Holy Spirit in confirmation, he nourished me with the bread of his word. Above all, he forgave me, he forgot everything, he did not even wish me to remember my past myself.
When, through my tears, I began to tell him something of the years during which I betrayed him, he lovingly placed his hand over my mouth in order to silence me. His one concern was that I should muster courage enough to pick myself up again, to try and carry on walking in spite of my weakness, and to believe in his love in spite of my fears. But there was one thing he did, the value of which cannot be measured, something truly unbelievable, something only God could do.
While I continued to have doubts about my own salvation, to tell him that my sins could not be forgiven, and that justice, too, had its rights, he appeared on the Cross before me one Friday towards midday.
I was at its foot, and found myself bathed with the blood which flowed from the gaping holes made in his flesh by the nails. He remained there for three hours until he expired.
I realized that he had died in order that I might stop turning to him with questions about justice, and believe instead, deep within myself, that the scales had come down overflowing on the side of love, and that even though all….through unbelief or madness, had offended him, he had conquered forever, and drawn all things everlastingly to himself.”
—–
Psalm 31:13-17
For I hear the whispering of many–
terror on every side!–
as they scheme together against me,
as they plot to take my life.
But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, “You are my God.”
My times are in your hand;
rescue me from the hands of my enemies
and from my persecutors!
Make your face shine on your servant;
save me in your steadfast love!
O LORD, let me not be put to shame,
for I call upon you;
let the wicked be put to shame;
let them go silently to Sheol.
One of the greatest mysteries
is the revealed
and the concealed, in life.
We serve a God of mystery and concealment,
but also a God of revelation,
who longs to reveal himself
to us.
But life continues to be filled with the juxtaposition of paradox.
We live in the mystery.
We live in the concealed.
The veil. We live behind the veil.
Life is simple. We can choose to live in faith, or we can choose to live in fear.
One of the great paradoxes.
Because if we do not actively choose faith
by default,
we have already chosen fear.
Our world wants to live in fear. In the “what ifs?” and the “maybes”.
In the “30% chance this” or “1 in every 8 people that”
But the truth is we are all dying. One way or the other.
Every breath is a second chance.
I’m beginning to see life differently.
It wasn’t that I chose fear in other times,
but there have certainly been many times that I did not choose what I should have:
Faith.
So, I choose to believe.
No matter what the outcome
no matter what the percentage
no matter what the cost.
I’m choosing faith.
Faith that HE is bigger than my humanity
Faith that mountains can be moved
Faith that HE is right beside me
Faith to believe HE has me exactly where I’m supposed to be
We walk by faith, not by sight.
With the past week as America and the world mourned the death of Steve Jobs, it seems death is on everyone’s minds these days, including my own. Ironically, as I had attended chapel this week at Cascade, the speaker spoke about death also, not even in connection with Steve Jobs at all.
Yet, when I would hear people talking about Jobs, I couldn’t help but feel some kind of, nagging on my heart. Yes, Jobs was a brilliant man, no one would deny that, and yes, he seems like he was a good man too, but, that’s just it. He was just a man. He did change the world, technology-wise, but remember, all this technology will burn one day. This stuff is just that, stuff. And in the end does it matter that I do in fact have a Mac Book Pro, or iphone, or ipod or iwhatever…. no. It doesn’t matter. Yes, technology makes our lives so much easier, and so much different compared the past, even just 5 years ago, but if I spend all my time engrossed in the technology that I forget to have a conversation (God forbid!) with an actual real person, what does it matter?
If you have some time, I found a great article that really brought to light some of that nagging feeling I couldn’t shake earlier this week, read it here.
Death, for those of us who are believers in God, through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we have hope. We know where we are headed, so it kind of makes everything else secondary, when you really think about it. I’ve spent some good time thinking about that lately. How am I spending my money? How am I spending my time? How selfish am I being with these things that are “mine”?
It’s all sobering, if we really take the time to think about it. We could change the world with an ingenious idea, but if we never change a single heart, what does that matter?
YOU hold it in your hands
YOU carefully watch every move
every breath
YOU whisper: words of life
into every heart and soul
breathing in and breathing out
saying YOUR name unaware
grace upon grace
mercy upon mercy you say:
you are MINE and I am yours
we spout words of discontent
sentences of our “all knowing humanness”
YOU smile, YOU see, YOU hear
but we cannot see things the way YOU do
we cannot understand the workings of YOUR hand
we can never see all the ways
YOU cover us with your unending grace
the ways we divide and kill
the ways YOU cover us still
blind to YOUR covering grace, we are
YOUR light breaks through the darkness
as i stand facing the light of day
facing the light with the past behind
how could i ever not see YOU
how could i ever forget YOU?
YOU are everywhere and in my every breath
YOU are peace when all around is madness
YOU are joy (and my joy) when i have lost happy
YOU are grace covering every word and every move
YOU are.
This was an article I wrote for our church email newsletter last fall, but I was reading over it as I’ve begun training now for the Bangkok Marathon, and reminded of the discipline in our lives it takes not only for physical things, but also in our expression of worship… (October 15, 2010)
 |
The God of the poor. God has a special place in his heart for those who are poor, not only that but the poor are part of WHO God actually is, and names he is called by:
I’ve been thinking a lot about this. God honors humility and those who see their need for God. Hunger- both physical and spiritual is the starting point for change. Necessity.
Matthew 5:3 (ESV) “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 5:3 (MSG) “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more room for God and his rule.”
Kingdom of Heaven/Kingdom of God = for those who are poor.
Matthew 5:6 (ESV) “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.”
Thirst and hunger makes me think of desperation. If someone is so empty, they become desperate for anything that will satisfy. If we are searching for righteousness, we will be satisfied.
I’ve thought about this on and off for the past 4 years or so, ever since my trip to India. The poverty was astounding. People dying on the sides of the road, and children begging on every corner you turn around. It’s almost more than you can even imagine, if you’ve never experienced it. I’ve been reading “The Hole in Our Gospel” by World Vision President Richard Stearns, and it’s given me some more perspective. Check out this link to more scripture concerning poverty, and what the Bible says about it. Why is it that we seem to skim over these sections of scripture, instead of actually thinking about it? Have we made poverty something that only exists third world countries? Have we distanced ourselves from this, simply because we don’t see ourselves as “that rich” here in America? Those of us who are “middle class” don’t see ourselves as wealthy?
More to come in future posts. It becomes so easy for us as Americans to sit back, cross our arms and talk all day about poverty. It’s sure easier to do that than sell all our belongings and give to the poor. Talk is talk, and talk is cheap. It’s faith in action that requires more. A lot more. Maybe everything we have.
your mercies are new every morning
fresh as a morning breeze
as real as the wind i can only feel but never touch
your mercies i knew
forgiveness, hope, healing
along with mercies
a cup of cool water rushing to wash away my fears
your mercies i knew
strength to leave the past behind
hope to begin to see a bright tomorrow
a breath of fresh air and a pool of peace to swim in
your mercies i knew
faith to put on my eyes to see
that the darkness cannot exist along with the light
and desperation for you and who you are is better than despair
your mercies i knew
trust to firmly take your hand and walk
beyond the shadows and the lies
the things i once believed to be true, are exposed in you
your mercies, i knew, i know
whispering a gentle “be still”
holding my heart in the palm of your hand
rushing toward me and wiping my tears away
your mercies, i now know
this has been “one of those weeks”.
one of those weeks that before it even began, i said to myself: “i wish it was friday”.
sometimes a good cry in the bathroom is just what the doctor ordered.
i plan to take a couple prayer walks today.
GOD.. be my strength.
“In His Name
All our fears are swept away
He never fails”
somehow beautiful 