Author: Meridith

Somehow he's seen something in me that makes me who I am. Somehow he's taken the broken pieces and made it so it doesn't matter how many pieces I'm broken into. Somehow love seems to be found through the one who paid the ultimate price for me. Somehow I am inspired and pushed each day to give to others because of what he gave for me. Somehow he sees me as beautiful.

lenten prayers and thoughts

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“Hope by its very nature captivates both our hearts and heads.  It evokes deep emotion.  It moves in and makes itself at home in our souls.  It takes up residence at the very core of who we are.  That is why it is so vital that we begin to place our hope in the Lord.” -Adam R. Holz

Breathe in me,
O Holy Spirit,
that my thoughts may all be holy.

Act in me,
O Holy Spirit,
that my work, too may be holy.

Draw my heart,
O Holy Spirit,
that I love only what is holy.

Strengthen me,
O Holy Spirit,
to defend all that is holy.

Guard me, then,
O Holy Spirit,
that I may always be holy.

-St. Augustine

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit…
Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD.
Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, O righteous,
and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!
Psalm 32: 1-2, 10-11

“O God, the deathless hope of everyone, we rejoice that you support us both when young and even to old age.  When our strength comes from you, it is strength indeed; but when our own strength is all we have, it is feebleness.  You give refreshment and true strength.” -St. Augustine

reflections of the past

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Two years have passed.  Two years ago, from Saturday, I stepped off a small airplane back into my life here in Oregon.  After a year of adventure beyond anything I ever thought I would experience in Thailand, I returned back to the States, sure that this was where I belonged for the time being.

Two years goes by really fast.  That’s all I know!

Never thought I’d still be here in Oregon.

I was sure I would be moving down to Southern California.

But God had other plans for me here.  Leading worship.  Following my heart and my passion, even though at the time it didn’t really make any sense at all.

That always seems to be how God works.  He requires a step of faith, and then takes the rest in his hands.

That’s how I ended up in Thailand.  About 3 years ago, I began emailing with GES, and 6 weeks later, I was on an airplane, headed off for an adventure of a lifetime.  I didn’t know anyone there.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  But as soon as I stepped foot off that airplane, taking a huge breath of the humidity/polluted air… I knew I was at home.

It’s funny now, because sometimes Thailand feels like forever ago, and other times it seems like it was just yesterday.  When we were on our missions trip to Nicaragua recently, one of the girls was like, “Are you sure you won’t go back and that your time there was done?  Because it seems like you still really miss it.”  It’s true.  More than words.  I really miss it.

My friends, my Thailand friends.  I miss you all.  I miss the fun times, the tears, the laughs, the wild and crazy adventures.  I hope to see you all again someday soon….  I know it was a unique time and place for each and every one of us to all be together that year.  But for now.. here are a few photo memories…

a short poem

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there never seems to be a way
to pen exactly the words i long to say
never seems to be one complete thought
everything just drifting in and out

there’s never quite a closed chapter
or a happily ever after
that brings completeness and joy
that isn’t marked with more blood and pain

i’ve never fully found all the words i long to say
without stumbling along the way
weeding in and out of the happy and sad
but just trying to hold onto truth

so even though i’ll never really know
all this life has to hold
i’ll just keep walking through
knowing i can hold onto You.

back

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I feel like I’m in a daze.  We returned this morning around 7 a.m. to the school, after traveling all day and night Friday.  Once I stepped foot into the house, I immediately jumped in the shower.  There’s nothing like taking a long, hot shower after traveling for a long time…

Took a 3 hour nap, now I’m just laying here in bed with many thoughts, and not quite feeling totally myself.

I learned so much on this second trip to Nicaragua.  God had a few divine appointments and conversations for me during the trip. I know that.  He’s been offering bucketfuls of healing and hope to my heart.  It’s comforting.  I pray it will continue.

Leaving tomorrow!

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Hey all,

We take off tomorrow for Nicaragua, and will return back in town on Saturday, March 26th!  Keep us in your prayers, if you’d like to follow us on our adventure, check into our blog for pictures and other updates: http://cchsnica.wordpress.com!

 

Ephesians 3:14-21

14 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, 15 the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth.16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.

“He’s as close as breath, you just have to walk”

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What we want is a tidy picture
Neat and easy to read
What we get is a trust walk
Finding out what we really believe
Don’t you be surprised now when it doesn’t lead you
To a clearer place
To some great resolve
You don’t have to wonder if He’s still beside you
He’s as close as breath
You just have to walk

I have seen and I have heard that
this is just the way He works
And I’ll take this chance to remind me that
its His grace that keeps me moving
Moving on

What I want is for Him to tell me
I won’t always feel this pain
What I get is a constant love
When nothing else stays the same
I won’t be surprised now when it doesn’t lead me
To a clearer place or to some great resolve
I don’t have to wonder if He’s still beside me
He’s as close as breath
And I just have to walk

Moving on and on as far as He will take me
When I walk with Him I know…

solitude, silence, and God’s word

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“In solitude, we come to know the Spirit who has already been given to us.  The pains and struggles we encounter in our solitude thus become the way to hope, because our hope is not based on something that will happen after our sufferings are over, but on the real presence of God’s healing Spirit in the midst of these sufferings.”

“The Word of God is not a word to apply in our daily lives at some later date; it is a word to heal us through, and in our listening here and now.”

“The Word of God is always sacramental.  In the book of Genesis we are told that God created the world, but in Hebrew the words for ‘speaking’ and ‘creating’ are the same word.  Literally translated it says, ‘God spoke light and light was’.  For God, speaking is creating.  when we say that God’s word is sacred, we mean that God’s word is full of God’s presence.  On the road to Emmaus, Jesus became present through his word, and it was that presence that transformed sadness to joy and mourning to dancing… The word that is read and spoken wants to lead us into God’s presence and transform our hearts and minds…”

Henri Nouwen, from “With Burning Hearts”, and “Making All Things New”

One Thing Remains

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One Thing Remains- Bethel Live

Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant in the trial and the change
One thing… remains

Your love never fails, it never gives up
It never runs out on me

On and on and on and on it goes
It overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never, ever, have to be afraid
One thing remains

Your love never fails, it never gives up
It never runs out on me

In death, in life, I’m confident and
covered by, the power of Your great love
My debt is paid, there’s nothing that
Can separate my heart from Your great love

Your love never fails, it never gives up
It never runs out on me

 

“Come Sinners to the Gospel Feast”

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Here are the beautiful words to one of Charles Wesley’s hymns, I don’t know the hymn, but the words are touching, and so rich.  I’ve been reading through a book for the past year or so, divided into 52 weeks with different Wesleyan meditations.  Each lesson includes a different hymn by Charles Wesley; this is one I recently read, then discovered again today, and was touched.

This is the book here, if you are interested, “A Life Shaping Prayer”.

Come, sinners, to the gospel feast;
let every soul be Jesu’s guest;
Ye need not one be left behind,
For God hath bid all humankind.

Sent by my Lord, on you I call;
the invitation is to all:
Come, all the world; come, sinner, thou!
All things in Christ are ready now.

Come, all ye souls by sin oppressed,
Ye restless wanderers after rest,
Ye poor, and maimed, and halt, and blind,
In Christ a hearty welcome find.

This is the time: no more delay!
This is the Lord’s accepted day;
Come thou, this moment, at his call,
And live for him who died for all!

someday

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someday everything will start making sense
the fog will clear
and the sun will shine brightly again

someday i’ll stop questioning all that’s right in front of me
and have a reason to trust again
to start to trust you

someday i won’t be blinded by fears
i’ll start to run again
like there was nothing holding me back

someday i’ll throw off these chains i keep clinging to
and realize i’m much, much faster
without them

someday i’ll be able to scream and yell
and tell you exactly what i keep wanting to say
that i love you and hate you all at the same time

someday i’ll be totally honest to everyone
instead of lying to myself
and anyone who looks into my eyes

someday it won’t matter anymore
because you’ll already know what i’m going to say
before i even say it

someday i’ll learn to trust
someday i’ll actually be loved
someday i’ll really, really live

but probably without you.