I Breathe You In

The presence of the living God,
Satisfies the depths of my heart
All of me changed when you came,
Iʼm made free by Your glory and grace

I breathe You in God, cause You are thick all around me 
I breathe You in God, cause You are thick all around me

The brightness of Your loves pure light,
Pierces through the darkest of nights
Everything is possible now,
For God is here and God is good

You are good God, 
For You are good to me You are Good God, 
For You are good to me

When I donʼt understand Iʼll choose You
When I donʼt understand I will choose You God
When I donʼt understand I will choose to Love You God

 

hope

…just when all was lost.

Hope is what we have in place of that which is not, and in longing for that which is not… yet.

But.  Once out eyes behold, and we see, feel, touch, smell… there is no more need for hope.  Or faith.

Only love.

Texas Toast!

ImageFriends,

I’m (finally) able to happily announce: I’m moving to Dallas, Texas!  After much time of prayer, and a top secret visit to Dallas in April, it became clear that it was time to move, and time to begin graduate studies at the well-respected Dallas Theological Seminary.

I’m not even sure what to say, it has absolutely been the hand of God making all the details come together, and though the personal and monetary sacrifices are great, I know that he holds each moment in his hands.

To some, it may seem drastic that I would begin grad school, but actually I’ve been (slowly) working on my Master’s degree, while working full time, in bits and pieces over the past three years through Liberty University Online.  (I’m still anxiously awaiting to hear if any of my classes have transferred, but that’s hopefully beside the point.)  God placed a small seed in my heart while I was teaching in Thailand, nearly 4 years ago, that it was something I desired to pursue, and now that dream is happening.

I will be studying Media and Communications, and unlike what some think, I’m not making some huge career change.  I hope to continue doing what I do now, only in a greater capacity, with a more comprehensive understanding of the scriptures and Theology, and of course study more in depth what I do now– Audio/visual presentation, drama, worship, creative writing, and more of the “creative” side of worship ministry.  My heart for music and leading worship has never changed, I’m so grateful for the invaluable time I have spent working at FBC over the past 3 years, and I could never say thank you enough for believing in me, and giving me the experience I treasure greatly.  The difficult days/weeks/etc. only have grown me to be stronger in my walk with the Lord, and have made me more the person I am today.  I suppose this is true and can be said of any life experiences we have.

There is so much more I could say, I know this may come as a shock to some people, and at the same time other people have been shocked that I actually have stayed here for the 3 years I’ve worked at FBC.  It’s all apart of God’s wonderful plan, and I simply want to humbly walk forward in faith.

If you think of me, please pray for me also.  It has been 5 years since I graduated with my undergraduate degree, so it may be a bit of a shock being in school again!  There are also so many small details that need to come together- from where I will be living, to selling all my belongings, to finding a job when I arrive in Dallas.

Thanks everyone- much love.
Meridith

fridaysaturdaySUNDAY

The man who knew no sin
became sin for us
took on our shame
took away our guilty hearts

That man
perfection
became separated
from the Father
for US

He hung his head
it is finished
it is complete
he was dead

The ground shook
the Father mourned
the temple torn in two
“Surely he was the Son of God”

Body dead
body bloody and cleaned
in the tomb
closed in the tomb

Deader than dead
three days dead
Definitely dead

Mourning, sadness, tears, loss
his friends cried
the man they loved and knew well
was gone

The man who raised from the dead
healed the sick
spoke with authority
how could he be himself… dead?

No hope
No joy
Only memories and asking
why?

Satan chuckled
the demons shrieked
Victory is ours!
Their only hope  is dead!

Darkness hung thick
for three days
the disciples hide in fear
was everything just a lie?

But then.

Oh that glorious morning
the women came to the tomb
to find his body gone
HE WAS ALIVE.
RISEN FROM THE DEAD

What a glorious day
Death was conquered
Sin was broken
Satan was defeated

Victory over all things
even the world he created
even the powers of evil
no one can match his strength

We have hope
we have life
we have everything in him
because he lived
because he LIVES

 

Maundy Thursday

Maundy Thursday, or Holy Thursday, commemorates the Last Supper Christ shared with his disciples.  “Maundy” originates from John 13:34, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you”.  More information available here. And here.

Jesus Prays for All Believers.  John 17:20-26:   “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

“Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.

“Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me.  I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”

Galatians 6:14: “We should glory in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, for he is our salvation,
our life and our resurrection; through Him we are saved and made free.”

I will not forget the cross the pain that You endured for us
Where You carried brokenness and shame
Never to forget the day Your love broke through to make a way
For hope to rise within my heart again

Overwhelming sacrifice You freely paid the highest price
Suffering You traded blood for me
My heart will sing the deepest praise my lips rejoice, my hands will raise
For the death that brought me into life

All for love my Jesus, You gave all for love
I am standing in the wonder of Your great love

What would I have done if it wasn’t for Your love?
The love that tore the veil inside my heart
What would I have become if it wasn’t for Your blood?
The blood You gave for all on the cross

Holy Tuesday

From the Book of Common Prayer, use according to the Episcopal Church:
Tuesday in Holy Week
O God, who by the passion of they blessed Son didst make an instrument of shameful death to be unto us the means of life: Grant us so to glory in the cross of Christ, that we may gladly suffer shame and loss for the sake of thy Son our Savior Jesus Christ; who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen. 

John 13: 21 – 33, 36 – 38


21 When Jesus had thus spoken, he was troubled in spirit, and testified, “Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.”
22 The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he spoke.
23 One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was lying close to the breast of Jesus;
24 so Simon Peter beckoned to him and said, “Tell us who it is of whom he speaks.”
25 So lying thus, close to the breast of Jesus, he said to him, “Lord, who is it?”
26 Jesus answered, “It is he to whom I shall give this morsel when I have dipped it.” So when he had dipped the morsel, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot.
27 Then after the morsel, Satan entered into him. Jesus said to him, “What you are going to do, do quickly.”
28 Now no one at the table knew why he said this to him.
29 Some thought that, because Judas had the money box, Jesus was telling him, “Buy what we need for the feast”; or, that he should give something to the poor.
30 So, after receiving the morsel, he immediately went out; and it was night.
31 When he had gone out, Jesus said, “Now is the Son of man glorified, and in him God is glorified;
32 if God is glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself, and glorify him at once.
33 Little children, yet a little while I am with you. You will seek me; and as I said to the Jews so now I say to you, `Where I am going you cannot come.’
36 Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, where are you going?” Jesus answered, “Where I am going you cannot follow me now; but you shall follow afterward.”
37 Peter said to him, “Lord, why cannot I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.”
38 Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Truly, truly, I say to you, the cock will not crow, till you have denied me three times.

 

This hymn, written in the 9th century by Kassiani the Nun, tells the story of the woman who washed Jesus’ feet (see Luke 7:36-50).  This hymn is sung in the Eastern Orthodox tradition toward the end of the “Bridegroom” service, held on Tuesday evening of their Holy week.  The hymn tells a beautiful story, and paints a picture of forgiveness, where we can all see ourselves in the place of the woman.

“O Lord, the woman who had fallen into many sins, sensing Your Divinity, takes upon herself the duty of a myrrh-bearer.
With lamentations she brings you myrrh in anticipation of your entombment. “Woe to me!” she cries, “for me night has become a frenzy of licentiousness, a dark and moonless love of sin. Receive the fountain of my tears, O You who gathers into clouds the waters of the sea. Incline unto me, unto the sighings of my heart, O You who bowed the heavens by your ineffable condescension.
I will wash your immaculate feet with kisses and dry them again with the tresses of my hair; those very feet at whose sound Eve hid herself from in fear when she heard You walking in Paradise in the twilight of the day.
As for the multitude of my sins and the depths of Your judgments, who can search them out, O Savior of souls, my Savior? Do not disdain me Your handmaiden, O You who are boundless in mercy.”

Thank You for the cross that You have carried
Thank You for Your blood that was shed
You took the weight of sin upon Your shoulders
And Sacrificed Your life so I could live

Now nothing is holding me back from You
Redeemer of my soul
Now nothing can hold me back from You
Your Love will never let me go

Thank You for Your death and resurrection
Thank You for the power of Your blood
I am overwhelmed by Your affection
The Kindness and the Greatness of Your Love
The Kindness and the Greatness of Your Love

Jesus, You make all things new

Thank You that we’re living in Your Kingdom
Jesus You’re the King upon the throne
Thank You for the way You always love me
Now I get to love You in return
Now I get to love You in return

Holy Week

      For the next week, I will (hopefully) be daily posting scripture readings, and book or quote excerpts leading up to Easter, on Sunday morning.  This time of year is one that resonates deeply in my heart, but part of the journey to Easter morning, with the experience of joy celebrating the risen Christ, is walking through Holy Week, which can often be shadowed by darkness.  Jesus Christ endured the cross, and went to the depths of Hell, the rose again in order to save us.

      We cannot fully worship the risen Savior until we understand the depth of our humanity and sin.  I look forward to the joy of Sunday morning, and worshipping in freedom.  I hope these next few days will bring light to your eyes, and turn hearts to Christ, and understanding more his immense love for us.

—–

Ephesians 2:13-16. “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.  For he himself is our peace who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.”

—–

From A Letter of Consolation, by Henri J.M. Nouwen: “During this Holy Week we are confronted with death more than during any other season of the liturgical year. We are called to mediate not just on death in general or on our own death in particular, but on the death of Jesus Christ who is God and Man. We are challenged to look at Him dying on a cross and to find there the meaning of our own life and death. What strikes me most in all that is read and said during these days is that Jesus of Nazareth did not die for himself, but for us, and that in following Him we too are called to make our death a death for others.

What makes you and me Christians is not only our belief that He who was without sin died for our sake on the cross and thus opened for us the way to His heavenly Father, but also that through His death our death is transformed from a totally absurd end of all that gives life its meaning into an event that liberates us and those whom we love.

—–

From In Search of the Beyond by Carlo Coretto: “Jesus became a sacrament  for me, the cause of my salvation, he brought my time in hell to an end, and put a stop to my inner disintegration.  He washed me patiently in the waters of baptism, he filled me with the exhilarating joy of the Holy Spirit in confirmation, he nourished me with the bread of his word.  Above all, he forgave me, he forgot everything, he did not even wish me to remember my past myself.

When, through my tears, I began to tell him something of the years during which I betrayed him, he lovingly placed his hand over my mouth in order to silence me.  His one concern was that I should muster courage enough to pick myself up again, to try and carry on walking in spite of my weakness, and to believe in his love in spite of my fears.  But there was one thing he did, the value of which cannot be measured, something truly unbelievable, something only God could do.

While I continued to have doubts about my own salvation, to tell him that my sins could not be forgiven, and that justice, too, had its rights, he appeared on the Cross before me one Friday towards midday.

I was at its foot, and found myself bathed with the blood which flowed from the gaping holes made in his flesh by the nails.  He remained there for three hours until he expired.

I realized that he had died in order that I might stop turning to him with questions about justice, and believe instead, deep within myself, that the scales had come down overflowing on the side of love, and that even though all….through unbelief or madness, had offended him, he had conquered forever, and drawn all things everlastingly to himself.”

—–

Psalm 31:13-17

For I hear the whispering of many–
terror on every side!–
as they scheme together against me,
as they plot to take my life.
But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, “You are my God.”
My times are in your hand;
rescue me from the hands of my enemies
and from my persecutors!
Make your face shine on your servant;
save me in your steadfast love!
O LORD, let me not be put to shame,
for I call upon you;
let the wicked be put to shame;
let them go silently to Sheol.

“I’m so tired of running…”

This song hit close to home when I heard Audrey and JJ Heller in concert last week…

Audrey Assad, “Lament”

I’m Mary and I’m Martha all at the same time;
I’m sitting at His feet and yet I’m dying to be recognized.
I am a picture of contentment and I am dissatisfied.
Why is it easy to work and hard to rest sometimes,
sometimes, sometimes

I’m restless, and I rustle like a thousand tall trees;
I’m twisting and I’m turning in an endless daydream.
You wrestle me at night and I wake in search of You…
but try as I might, I just can’t catch You
But I want to, ’cause I need You, yes, I need You
I can’t catch You, but I want to.

How long, how long until I’m home?
I’m so tired, so tired of running
How long until You come for me?

I’m so tired, so tired of running
Yeah, I’m so tired, so tired of running
I’m so tired, so tired of running

fighting gravity

I’ve been going through a dry spell, in regards to the creative side of my life.  I can’t remember when I last wrote a song.  This really isn’t a good thing, if you know me.  Hopefully changes in the future will aid this.  However, I had a moment of inspiration today, and am in the process of again writing:

Fighting gravity
’cause it’s all I can do to breathe
coming up for air
because gravity isn’t what I was made for
I was made to fly, I was made to fly

Fighting looks and glances
and who you think I am
Gravity was made for you
but not for me, never for me
I was made to fly, I was made to fly

I was made to fly
I’m more than what meets your eye
But can’t seem to escape
what you see me as
Fighting gravity
but it only seems to me
I’m grounded because
what you think I’m made to be

Like I said, it’s in the process.  Has a folky/country/shuffle feel.  More inspiration to come, hopefully…